Trust Me
by ilovemyflute1
Summary: Dark haired Hype at age nineteen has already has enough problems in her life, but when anorexia nervosa gets the best of her, she unleashes it to her lover Ike; through comforted with sweet words and memories, she reminisces life before her depression. Knowing she's Ike's lover, she senses him as a threat, until one day he truly is. *Modern one-shot AU
1. Prologue

**Junior Year**

Hype's POV

"So, what did they say?" Bridget asks, walking with me into Family and Consumer Science class, in other cases, our watch movies and listen to other make dirty jokes class. Going through the motions, I think through all of the assignments I could do during this period and life decisions all at once and sigh.

"Well, I'm not sure, but they were saying stuff about you and how like Oliver has a crush on you so…" I trail off, taking my seat as we watch our teacher pop a movie into the DVR. Since day one of junior year in this class, all we've done was watch movies. We haven't even learned anything really, just a class about gossip and other fucked up rumors.

"Wait" Nicole questions. "Who are they?"

"Oscar, Lavender and Oliver," I reply, lost in thought as I analyze all of what happened to me today. It's not that it was bad; it was like any other day. Shit.

"So anyways, is there anything else you should tell me," Bridget states, clearly concerned. She likes Oscar though, but since he's with Lavender, I guess she's fine with being single for a bit. Oliver caught her eye only once, but ever since she cannot stop talking about it. Really, "he is rather handsome and quite wonderful," as the girls in Spring Awakening would say about Melchior and hate to say how geeky he is, he is a bite cute. But I have Ike, at least I hope I do- love is a slippery slope.

"I mean there's not much to tell from a five second walk by." I conclude, turning to Nicole. "By the way, I saw Mike this morning and you weren't with him. Where were you?"

"Doctor's office, but enough about me, I want to hear about this bet." She giggles towards Bridget.

"Oscar was just pushing Oliver's buttons to try to talk to you I guess. We all know he likes you, have you seen his notebook? It's all covered with your name." I grumble, wishing Ike was more romantic, but you can't change people and I'm okay with that.

"I think it's girly." Rosetta chirps.

"I think it's adorable," Nicole smiles.

"It reminds me like something Hanscehen do when he was younger," I say.

"Spring Awakening Hype, really?" Nicole flusters.

"I love that play. It's not just a play to me, it's a piece of reality; its curiosity that's been driven by desire. A forbidden love."

"Hype, it's about rape and suicide," Nicole states plainly.

"It's more than that Nicole, just so much more." I mumble.

"Do you guys do anything but talk?" our teacher complains. Usually he's pretty chill but today he is extremely tense.

"We're just wasting time," I whisper as Bridget and Nicole roll their eyes.

"I think that's enough gossip for me today, I have a math test to study for," Nicole gripes, taking her book out and doing practice problems.

"Since when have you never gotten a low grade on a test?" Bridget asks.

"Never." Nicole states wide eyed. "Never in my life."

"Of course," Bridget whispers remotely as I sigh and pull up _Spring Awakening_ on my IPod. Tuning into The Word of Your Body, I instantly get a chill up my spine which leaves me alone with myself as the beautiful nightmare of Melchior and Wendela cherishing each other. Moritz is my favorite character, mostly because we're so relatable: tense, and uneasy with life, at least he has the guts to commit suicide…

***So this story reflects on a bad time in my life; time of doubt, dear and anxiety. Not to give to much away, this story may not be well written, but I did it for NaNo-and I'm revising for NaNo ( I will give updates) Some of the work has past works I've dug up to make the story seem more complete and this is my book. Please, feel free to review or PM me, I know this AU has flaws and any feedback would be greatly appreciated. This story is labeled incomplete because there are more parts to be added in the next few days.**


	2. Understand Me: Part 1

**Part 1: Understand Me- Approx 3 Years Later**

Ike's POV

"Come on Hype, you have to eat," I coax as she sighs and turns her head away. "Hype," I whisper, "I love you, you know." Getting more food on her spoon, I lift up her chin very carefully just enough to look into her eyes. "Hype, you have to eat at least something." Lifting the spoon to her mouth, I begin to tear up myself. I can't believe she's anorexic; just last month she was bubbly and happy even if we didn't always have a full belly. "Hype, eat." I whisper, as I part her lips halfway and slide the spoon in.

"Ike, I'm not a child anymore," she cries after swallowing. "I can feed myself. When I want too."

"Hype, I'm not letting you go weeks without eating, no way. You would die really early and if you do, I just don't think I can live."

"Ike, I appreciate the support, I do. But now we've gotten to the point where you think I'm helpless." She whines, wiping away small tears as I pull her into my arms. Sobbing deeply into my chest, I stroke her hair and hum a little tune. I can't remember the words, but I know it would help her if I did know them.

"Hype, you're not helpless, you're strong, compassionate and caring." I whisper into my ear as she slowly pulls away.

"Ike, just stop lying to me." She snaps as I take a step back. "I'm sorry," she confesses, "I don't need compliments right now, or never."

"Hype!" I call out as she walks into the bedroom and closes the door, signaling she's ready for bed. Sighing, I pick up the remnants of dinner, toss out the trash and clean the dishes. Sighing as I finish my tasks, I lean my back against the counter and admire our tiny apartment. It's quite small for Manhattan, but we still both call it home: we have a small living room, our bedroom, two bathrooms a kitchen and a guest room. We only have one light on, dangling above the table as I switch it off breathlessly and head to the bedroom.

Hype's POV

"I can feed myself," I mutter. "I'm not helpless; I can still do things." Walking in, the first thing I do is change into my pajamas. Getting my music and putting in my headphones, I select a calming song and think it will be just enough to hide what I've been through today. Not forgetting my cellphone I see I have a text, it's from Ike. Perfect.

To: My _damsel _in _distress: Sweet dreams Hype. Love you forever and always.

Crawling into bed, I lay my head down. Tired; I think. I'm just tired. And that's right; I'm tired of not being good enough, not being pretty enough, not being strong, or smart enough. I'm just tired of life, tired of all of the obstacles. Tired of the bullshit Anthony sends towards me. Enclosing myself in the bed, I feel Ike wrap his arms around me as I fall into sleep.

Ike's POV

Setting Hype's gum on the counter, she comes out of the bedroom abruptly and slows down as she approaches me. Not knowing when I'd return, I give her a slight smile.

"Thanks," she mumbles as she takes it slowly and sticks a piece in her mouth and begins to chew. Taking out some of my own 5 gum (Rain), I waft the scent towards me as I take in the spearmint. Hype likes the 5 gum in watermelon (Prism) the best. I do too, but it's just a little sweet for me. Setting out five other packs for her she begins to smile slightly, something I haven't seen in weeks, and with enough self-control to just pull her into my arms and kiss her.

"Hype, I want to make some new rules." I say, catching her as she slowly turns away. "I want you to stay hydrated as long as your anorexic and I want you to eat at least one big meal every week. I just can't lose you."

"Sure, why not." She mumbles shoving the gum in her jacket and taking a water bottle from the fridge, she sets outwards in silence, closing the door behind her without saying a word.

Hype's POV

In the dead of winter, I shiver a bit in the cold, feeling the tip of my nose instantly freeze as I face the brisk wind and begin to walk. It's not a normal walk where one just enjoys nature, but it's a walk where I can think and express myself and not be wrong about anything. Daydream about some place different. Jack does it so why can't I? In my daydreams I'm just about everything I want to be. I'm as smart as everyone else and no one makes me feel bad about myself. All of my problems are gone; I'm not anorexic, I don't have a cutting problem and Ike doesn't lust after me. Masturbating right now, I shake off the odd feeling and look at my surroundings. Smiling as I'm in my favorite shopping center, I first walk into Starbucks, getting a simple hot cocoa and grin. The warm brown liquid is about the only thing that gives me pleasure at this very moment and it gets even better when I turn on my music. Sitting down at a table, I sip the liquid, making me shiver with happiness. The exact way I felt when Ike first put his arms around me, just exhilarating.

Sipping the warmth out of the cup, I get another to go as I walk slowly to the park and the pier; reminiscing the sweet memories before I got depressed, when my skin was flawless. When I never cared about what anyone thought of me. Going to our special place under the pier, the waves bring me back a sweet summer memory of our first kiss. I remember it clearly as we sat on the rocks, just ending our first date. Ike's lips were soft as I my dress blew through the wind, spreading my light perfume around creating the perfect atmosphere. Looking at his emerald green eyes, he pulls into his arms and looks into my eyes, biting his lip. Closing the small space, he kisses me as I loose myself. The warmth of his mouth running through my body, I think of the memory now pure bliss as I clutch my drink even harder, almost burning my hands as the rest of my body almost freezes in the snow. I set my drink down and pace back and forth, letting the waves lap near my boots.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" I scream to the world, not caring if they listen. Ok I do care, but they can't see me so I guess it is ok. "Am I just a waste of human being? Because I believe this question is debatable, I mean come on. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart. What the hell? I'm impatient and I always screw things up. Nicole is the smart one. Sketch (aka Bridget) is the talented one. Smalls and Star (aka Stella) have their own special qualities and I'm just the screw up. I always have been God damn it."

God how did this even start? I ask myself as sit back down, wiping blood away from the cuts I just opened by accident. I don't answer my own question and bring my hands to my face and feel my cuts with my eyes closed and begin to cry.

"It's ok Hype things will get better," I whisper, trying to convince myself it will. "It will be fine, everything will be okay."

"Yes it will," a voice says from behind me. I slowly turn and see its Ike in his puffy jacket that has down feathers and I smile slightly as he brought me a blanket. He comes to sit next to me on the cold rocks and wraps the blanket around our shoulders, surprised it isn't snowing.

"Ike," I whisper laying my head on his shoulder, "how much did you hear?"

"What you always want to hear." He smiles, petting my hair. "You're beautiful, talented smart and defiantly not a screw up. You bring joy to people Hype; I can't believe you don't think that of yourself."

"Ike I do but whenever I try my best at something, someone else just comes along and does it better and I hate that," I whine.

"Hype, there will always be someone better than you but I know something you are that makes every other girl jealous. You are mine." He smiles as he caresses my hands, setting the cocoa behind us. "And I know that I haven't been home a lot because of work but, you have friends also. Nicole, Bridget, Stella and Smalls right?"

"I have friends, but no one I can talk to," I whisper, putting my head on his lap and gazing into his eyes as I lie on my back.

"You can always text me at work; I always have my phone on." He smiles, "to my damsel in distress."

"To my idiot in aluminum foil," I laugh, just enjoying the moment. Not thinking about anything, but being with Ike. "Ike, I'm sorry I never speak my mind."

"Not everyone does all the time," he asserts gently, "remember when we met and I was the shy one?"

"And I was the quirky one?" I ask.

"No, you were the hyper one," he laughs. "And I love my sweet baby for that."

"Oh God Ike, I really wished things haven't changed." I laugh lightly.

"Yea, things were better a few months ago." He states.

"Life just gets in the way and I don't mean to sound whiny but it's just getting to be too much for me and I don't think I can keep doing this. But I can't I'm just addicted to so many things." I sigh, burrowing my face in his stomach.

"Why do you cut anyways?" he asks me, looking down in concern.

"It just makes me feel better because, I …don't know. It's something that gets me noticed in society I guess, like Crutchie, but we don't want sympathy, it just makes me hurt or always feel guilty, that's why I always try to hide the scars. They symbolize my past and people judge you off of it." I explain. "People say that if I show them I'm an attention whore, if I don't, people believe I'm suicidal."

"But you aren't any of those things Hype, you have to believe them." Ike jumps.

"But Ike, it's hard." I complain.

"Not everything in life will be easy." He says slowly.

"But Ike, it's not fair; I try to be my best but…" I start.

"Society is just too damn stupid?" he finishes. I nod.

"Exactly," I finish. Realizing he's getting me really upset we stop talking for a few minutes, hearing the waves overlap the shores all in slow motions as Ike pulls me in his arms as I sit up and he holds me tight. "Ike, I want you today, tomorrow and forever."

"You will Hype, I promise. Ok?" he says as I look deep into his eyes and kiss him.


	3. Part 2

Ike's POV  
"Ike," Hype whispers to me in my sleep, roughing up my hair I slowly arouse myself to wake up. But I really don't want to. Sometimes she mumbles in her sleep, but as I focus my vision on her she wears a look of concern.  
"Yes Hype?" I ask tiredly. She furrows her brow at me like I did something wrong.  
"Ike, are you ok? You're moaning a lot too and you're having a wet dream." she asks as I shake my head.  
"I am not having a wet dream." I state.  
"Yea you are." She snaps, guiding my hand to the wet spot on the mattress between my legs.  
"Oh," I mutter softly as I look at her, wiping my tired eyes.  
"What were you dreaming about?" she asks as she motions to the spot. I feel my face go scarlet as I make up something. It has to cause the wet spot but it doesn't need to be graphic, even though it really was.  
"Uhh," I stammer, "we were having sex in a boat a couple miles of the pier, very intense."  
"Thanks for lying to me Ike," she states bluntly.  
"Hype I didn't lie, promise." I enforce.  
"Yes you do, when you lie your voice drops an octave, even if you're whispering. Maybe it's from puberty, I have no idea but, Ike, just tell me the truth, if you do that then I won't be upset." She whines as I finally oblige after several minutes of silence.  
"Ok Hype, ready? My dream was, and I was masturbating to this just now, we were having hardcore sex and we were drunk and you just were extremely charming and clingy…" I trail off, "It's not that it was a bad thing but I liked all of the attention, it was nice for you to give me all the attention because like it was just…arousing and pleasurable. This is why I lust at you sometimes." I finish as her eyes are a slight honey color. Quick to turn in the light, she blinks rapidly.  
"God Ike, why did you," she starts.  
"Shhh." I whisper, putting my finger to her lip. "Look at me Hype. Hey Hype, have you noticed your eyes change color?"  
"What? No, I mean, I've seen yours change slightly to hazel but…" she explains.  
"Oh, well your eyes are a honey colored, just saying," I cut in.  
"Ike," she starts, rubbing her face, "thanks for telling me that, your dream I mean, I mean its ok really, usually once a month, more than that really, I have an erotic dream too so it's all ok." Switching the light back off, we slide under the covers as she caresses my side, and then puts her hand under her pillow.  
"So what do you usually dream about?" I ask willingly wanting to know the answer. Inside I'm really excited to hear what she has to say; now it's her turn to turn pink.  
"Once, well, twice a month, I dream about having sex, I mean, it's not that I don't think it's bad, it's just I don't think I'm ready…But in my dreams, usually it's you just…touching me everywhere, nothing is sensitive to me and it always feels amazing. I don't know what you may think about it, but to me it just kind of makes me feel good about myself, knowing you are mine forever. You know; heart on fire mind on ice?"  
I nod, knowing exactly what she means.  
"Thanks Hype, it's late though so we should still get some sleep." I comment as she nods, secretly shedding tears. "Hype, are you ok?"  
"No!" she bursts, "sometimes I just think I'm not good enough for you and that's why I dream these dreams, it's not that I want to think that way Ike, but still. When I doubt, my dreams are the only thing that comfort me. It's not fair, other people have happy dreams, but I usually dream of rape or kidnap and its plain aweful, but twice a month, I get these erotic; honey rich, detailed, graphic dreams in my head and I can't shake them off for a few days; and it scares the fucking hell out of me."  
"Oh Hype, I'm so sorry," I frown, causing my dimples to go away. Making her take deep breaths, I rub her back as she sobs.  
"Nothing's wrong with us right?" I calm her by wiping her tears away with my thumb and pull her into my arms, now shaking us both as I gently kiss her cheek rapidly.  
"No Hype, nothing's wrong with us." I say gently.  
"Are you sure though?"  
"Yea Hype I'm sure, we're just young, dumb and in love."  
"I love you Ike, so, so much."  
"I love you Hype. Now let's think of happiness ok? I never want you to be upset because of your dreams, when you are just waking me. I won't get mad, and I'll never leave you." I smile, kissing her one more time.  
"For sure?"  
"For sure."

Hype's POV  
"Ike, I'm not having sex with you, so stop forcing me too," I snap as he pins me to the wall, opposite of the bed.  
"Why should we not have sex?" he snarls as I can tell he's been smoking, but denies it. He's only been through one pack of cigars and he said he hated it and I did too, they were awful.  
"Because it's just wrong, and maybe you think it's stupid, but I think we're still too young and…" I count on my fingers. "And I just don't want to get pregnant yet. Look, you can wear protection all you want but, the point is that well, I'm just not ready and you should respect that of me."  
"Well, you should be I mean you're older than eighteen. You're an adult, you can vote, you can drink, you can smoke, no one looks down on you for having a kid at this age." He starts.  
"They will if I'm not married," I grouch angrily.  
"What?" he barks.  
"Well Ike, I won't say anything that will possibly piss you off, but Ike, I'm still a teenager I still have a lot of life left to live." I assert.  
"I know that Hype, I get that, I do but it is your last year to be a teen. You only have less than nine months.  
"Until turn twenty or have a baby?" I scold harshly.  
But in some situations, you just have to be mature enough to deal with whatever life throws at you. Not everyone is ready but…" he suppresses.  
"But I already said I'm not ready." I fluster.  
"Life doesn't wait for anyone, if it did; time would be all messed up. I love you Hype, but this will be good for us, I swear." He grumbles.  
"Ike, if you think having sex is good for us, then I have no choice to give in," I sigh as he comes closer to me, holding me against the wall with just his body. I try to wriggle my way out as he just leans forward and kisses me- or at least tries too.  
"No need to fuss," he states calmly. His eyes sparkle slightly hazel as I put my hands around his neck as he kisses me. Resisting him, I give into everything letting him take control. I still have choices though and I'm determined to keep them. In bed, I sit in Ike's arms as he finally lets go of his cravings for sex today as I look up and kiss him.  
"Ike, why do you love me? I'm not perfect but if you want that I'm still trying…" I mumble. Looking down at me with hazel eyes, he clutches me closer as I hear his heartbeat and pulse beneath his chest.  
"I don't want perfect, I want honest," he quotes as I nod slowly.  
"If you had one wish, what would it be?" I murmur softly.  
"That you can be completely open and honest with me, even if I don't make any sense sometimes because you know I do that. There are many layers and emotions to us Hype, we're complicated beings, but sometimes life happens, we change and we can't stop them. "He exclaims, pressing his lips together. "And by the way, if a man whistles at you, ever, don't turn around you're a lady not a dog." Breathing somewhat heavily, I can tell the man that did that to me a few days ago was not being polite at all and I guess Ike can't take some things. I love that he shows I mean a lot to him and it's nice and all, but… "So anyways, what's your wish?"  
"That one day, we will be so enamored that nothing will break us apart, not even the most heated arguments or even death if life pushes us that far" I answer softly as he nods.  
"You know, one of my favorite songs right now is Ships in the Night by Matt Kearny." He says smoothly, running his fingers through my hair. Getting up for his laptop, he turns it on real quick and pulls up the song. Saying the words plainly as we watch a lyric video for it, I snuggle up to him even more as the lyrics fill the room. Having to charge his laptop nearby, we play it on repeat for the rest of the night on low volume as we continue the night. In the morning, I awake refreshed and happy as Ike's already fully dressed and I smile at him.  
"I love you Ike," I smile softly as he blushes a little.  
"Like ships in the night you keep passing me by; we're just wasting time. Trying to prove who's right and if it all goes crashing into the sea. If it's just you and me trying to find the light like ships in the night you're passing me by your passing me by like ships in the night," he mummers softly as I crawl out of the bed, dress and brush my hair. He opens the window as a breeze with a slight scent of salt water echoes it. "About to board when you call on the phone, you say "I'm sorry. I'll be waiting at home; Feels like we're learning this out on our own, Trying to find a way down the road we don't know."  
"I'd rather have bad times with you," I whisper, "than good times with someone else. I'd rather be beside you in a storm than safe and warm by myself, I'd rather have it hard times together than easy ones apart and I'd rather have the one who holds my heart instead of one who hates me for me.  
"Like ships in the night," he echoes.


	4. Part 3

Hype's POV  
"Hey Hype," a voice whispers next to me as I lift my head a little wiping tears away. Strangers give me gentle looks as I know my eyes are red and puffy. Looking to my left, is my and Sketch's childhood enemy friend. Oscar Delancey is sitting next to me. Arm around me and talking gently his grey eyes look lovingly at me and for some reason it feels good; so Oscar Delancey does have a soft side, who knew?  
"What happened?" he asks, it's not like I don't want to answer him but he won't leave me alone until I do. "I mean, todays a beautiful winter day, the weather's still a little chilly and the sun is out," he continues as I still cry. I can't take it anymore and decide to tell him, not knowing how he'd react.  
"Ike pressured me to have sex with him again," I say hastily, wiping even more tears away. Looking at him out of the corner of my watery eyes he resembles some sort of sympathetic face. "It's not like I don't want to do it with him it's just that…when I refuse he just gets mean and I just get scarred enough I have to get away from it all."  
"Oh," he whispers.  
"Yea, and like I don't know why I'm even scarred because I'm sure he's a great partner I'm just…scarred," I whimper.  
"Well, I could teach you how to not be scarred, Hype, it's easy. Have you ever got drunk before?" he asks as I cock my head at him. He takes out a tissue real quick and wipes my face.  
"If you don't remember, I'm nineteen; even though it means I can drink, does not mean I should. I reply as he lets out a sigh. "I'm not going to buy wine if I don't drink it."  
"I could buy it and we could drink it together," he whispers. "Then we could…  
"You don't get mean when your drinking do you?" I cut him of hastily, scooting away a bit from the bench. He shakes his head.  
"As I was saying, after we drink, we could have sex in a way you won't be scarred to have it with Ike. He wouldn't know anyways."  
"Yea I guess," I mumbled. "But what if he does find out?"  
"I'll compromise with him one way or another," he grimaces. "When do you want to…?"  
"Sorry," I say, hearing my phone click, cutting him off yet again as I get a text from Ike.  
To: my_damsel_in_distress: Sorry about earlier, going somewhere tonight so be back by lunch tomorrow. Love you forever and always, Ike.  
"Well that's that," I sigh, looking at my wallpaper and turning off my phone.  
"I like your picture," he smirks.  
"Oh thanks," I say, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.  
"So anyways, want to do it now?" he asks.  
"Yea, we can do it in our apartment, we have a guest room," I reply.  
"So I'll buy the whiskey?" he nods.  
"Yes, and you know where I live?" I ask back as he nods.  
"See you soon," he says as he helps me stand. We hug for a little bit and part ways until we see each other again. Back at the apartment, I straighten up the guest room a bit and bring a few more blankets in. Closing the curtains, I set the blankets down and warm myself.  
Hearing a knock on the door I open it to see Oscar holding a bottle of wine and flowers: dozen roses. Ike's going to kill us, I think as I let him in and we sit at the kitchen table, drinking ourselves silly.  
"Oh, you like being drunk?" Oscar laughs somewhat sinisterly.  
"Yea, it feels so good, it just makes me feel numb and I like it, but it's bitter," I say, taking in more. He laughs drunkenly and slurs at me, glaring him down as I laugh at him for having the hiccups.  
"Hype you're mean," he jokes.  
"How?" I laugh.  
"You're laughing at me for having the hiccups." He smiles, hiccupping between each word.  
"Because it's funny," I smirk as I finish and set down my glass as he does the same. Coming over to me, he picks me up bridal style, glances around and looks down at me.  
"Hey Oscar, I need to tell you something." I whisper, wringing my hands as he sets me down on the bed and looks at me. "I haven't been…totally truthful with you. I've had sex with Ike before, but it was before we lived together. It was actually the week after graduating, well, I was having the blues about leaving and after school at dusk we decided to meet up and Ike was like, ' hey, remember those rumors from junior year when we took sex ed. together and everyone thought we went behind the school every day to have sex? Well let's make one of them come true. Its ok babe, I brought protection. We don't have to do anything drastic, just slow and easy.' So, we did, we had sex and when the rest of us went out to dinner; Mike, Nicole, Sketch, Davey, Fess and the rest of them, well. That night we were silent and we just wanted to get dinner over with so we could do it again. When we went back to fuck, it was dark out and Ike brought a blanket for us to lie on as we got naked and done the deed. It was sweet and everything, but because Ike's being drinking so much lately and being concerned and everything; he's just being protective, and when he's protective, he's really mean to me. Sometimes thought…not all the time. "  
"So and him have already lost your virginities to each other?" he asks as I nod hastily. "You guys had sex behind Joshua L. Meridian high school?" I nod again.  
"Hype, you can't be afraid of your lover," he states passionately.  
"I know Oscar, it's just…" I start. "He'll always be mean to you when you think he is, most of the time, he's just trying to keep you safe that's all."  
"Ok, ok, I got it Oscar," I mumble, "thanks."  
"So, do you still want to have sex or have we already worked out problems just by talking?" he inserts as I lie on the bed.  
"Uhm, you said we could so…and Ike won't be here until tomorrow; so he's probably drinking somewhere in Brooklyn. He doesn't even know any of the vendors in Brooklyn, so I'm pretty sure he won't get in a fight of sorts. Gambling, well he took his wallet that only had twenty five in it. Having sex with another girl, well, I just hope he doesn't." I explain  
"But… what if he knows we had sex, because I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be okay with it." He replies.  
"What you don't know can't hurt you," I mutter "Oscar I'll be honest with you, I really want to have sex with you so maybe we could just…I mean, it's cool if you don't but if we do can we just…take it slow and easy? Maybe later in the night we could be a bit more daring?" I ask slightly as Oscar gives me a mischievous grin, then advances towards the side of the bed.  
"Well then Hyper, ready to still conquer fears and have the best night of your life?" he asks as I nod gratefully. Walking to the guest room, I watch him shyly as he bolts the door and window shut; and he tells me to strip without being shy and I do so after seeing his naked body and blush. Taking off my skirt and blouse, bra and underwear I face him, biting my nails as he smiles at me. Walking up to close the gap, I stop mid stride. He follows the rest of the way. Standing on my tip toes I kiss him deeply, and we begin to make out. He smiles making sure I'm not nervous. He kisses my cheek, and pulls me closer to him, squeezing me tightly, and stroking my hair, he kisses me softly. His lips feel like silk, making me melt like butter. I moan slightly, he pulls away.  
"Oh you like that? Hm? I'll give you something to moan about soon though," he winks. I smile as we begin to back up to the bed. Rubbing my hands all over his bare chest; drunken sex, I think, this is defiantly going to go well.

...

"Oscar, Oscar, Oscar," I cry out louder every time as he finally stops to look at me. "No, no, keep going I just…needed to scream something, God this is so pleasurable."  
"Glad you're enjoying it," he smiles, "hope Ike never finds out."  
"There's a slight chance he will, but still, I think we have to keep calm about it." I reply. He looks at me and carefully kisses my cheek and sighs. Repeatedly injecting me, I kiss him deeply when I get the chance. When enough is enough, I tell him and we stop. He gets off of me and pulls me into his arms, smiling and laughing for no reason, jus basking in the afterglow. Sore exhausted and sticky we both somehow fall asleep until morning.  
"Good morning beautiful," a voice says from above me. I get scarred as he clutches me tighter as I slowly look up.  
"Hey Ike," I whisper.  
"Morning sweet pea, I see someone decided to sleep in the buff," he smiles, hiding a slight laugh.  
"Ike, I'm sore," I whine, realizing what I just said I'm now fully awake in shock.  
"Well, what were you doing last night?" he asks. "Sorry I wasn't here with you last night though, but what were you doing in the guest room?"  
"It's fine; I think when I was sleeping though I got restless and hit myself a bunch of times by accidently punching the wall. I think I fell off a few times too," I lied. "And for sleeping in the guest room, I didn't want to sleep in our bed because that would just make me miss you more than I should."  
"I'm sorry sweetie, probably should have texted you for when I'd come home," he grimaces. "Well, we need to get going. Today I was planning a walk and for Dave and Bridget to have lunch with us.  
"Yea sure," I mumble, checking the time. "I'll be ready in an hour.  
"And eat something before we leave ok? Please, for me," he smiles cheekily as I roll my eyes and oblige headed towards the kitchen in my pajamas.


	5. Part 4

Hype's POV  
"Ike does this…." I start as he smiles at me.  
"No Hype, that does not make you look fat." He chuckles as I sigh and continue to look at myself in the mirror.  
"Well, that's good to know, but I was wondering if these jeans looked too ripped up, because I know you hate that and…I wasn't even talking about my shirt; and is this okay too? I know you don't really like the low cuts in the front because it shows off too much skin but…" I trail off.  
"Hype its winter; if you wear that shirt, you're going to freeze to death. I would know I ran outside barefoot to get the mail one time when it was snowing; I came back in and nearly got frostbite." He laughs; "it was intense, but I got to stay in bed the rest of the day. Dad was working so I had to stay out of the library. Depressing tough, I left my book in there."  
"Wait, when was this?" I question, turning as I pick up my comb and start brushing my hair.  
"Uh, ten years, maybe eleven years ago when I was eight; our teacher gave us homework over the break and of course, I never pushed it off towards the end." He answers as I nod, going over to the dresser, I get my warmest sweater and matching scarf in pink as I pull on my boots and braid my hair.  
"Ike, do you think I have time to curl my hair?" I ask as I see his reflection in the mirror.  
"You wouldn't have time," he answers, checking his watch, "Davey and Bridget are expecting us in about ten minutes and it's a five minute walk to the park, so unless you can curl your hair in five minutes, well go for it," He jokes.  
"Whatever Ike," I smile, rolling my eyes as he takes my hand and kisses it, letting me lead the way to Central Park as we see Davey and Bridget kissing on the trail. Seeing us come, they break away and run up to us.  
"Guess what happened earlier, you guys," Bridget exclaims as she jumps up and down as she holds Davey's hand. Kissing Davey really quick as I give Ike the same look he gives me.  
"Uhh, you're pregnant?" Ike suggests as Bridget stops bouncing.  
"You guys had a steamy make out session last night?" I offer as they glare us down a bit.  
"No Hype, Ike, none of the above." Bridget scolds, her face going soft as Ike fingers her hand.  
"I wish," Davey echoes, starring at the ground and then back up at us.  
"Nice ring," Ike mumbles, solving the puzzle as my face lights up.  
"You guys are engaged aren't you?" I ask equally excited as she squeals, hugging me and Ike tightly. Kissing Davey, hand on his chest I smile as Ike holds me at the waist, letting them finish. No wonder she didn't text me about it, she wanted it to be a surprise. I mean, I'm not jealous of her-trust me I'm not that type of girl; but I am a little upset that Ike and I haven't gotten that far yet, but Bridget and Davey have had crushes on each other since sixth grade, going to the dances and going on several dates up until Oscar also confessed his love for her. Turning him down, Oscar swore his revenge but never did. We've kept her safe though as Oscar likes to wander the streets from dawn to dusk and all the time in between. Pillaging what he can as he got kicked out of his home from running away from abuse. We could tell their uncle liked Morris better because he was the youngest and hate to say it, we don't blame him. Anyways, they've been officially dating since freshman year, and then went steady at the beginning of junior year. It's great though as they love each other and they bring out the best in each other.  
"Well, it's about time," Ike grins, "lunch on us?"  
Walking to the nearest restaurant, we eat merrily, everyone orders coffees as well; begin talking about the distant future. Later in the meal, we opt for crème sodas and virgin Shirley temples.  
"So when's the wedding?" I ask giddily as their smile begins to fade.  
"We-we don't really know," Davey stutters as Ike willingly caresses my hand under the table. I blush scarlet, consuming more wine as the hour drags on.  
"Eighteen months?" I ask as they shake their heads. Eating in silence for a few minutes, the drinks come as we finish eating silently.  
"I think we should get going," Davey whisper as we nod and I laugh as Ike's eyes get wide like every time he sees a bill over ten dollars.  
"Ike, you need us to pay for anything?" Bridget asserts as she takes note. Looking up, he searches across the table.  
"Oh, no it's fine, I got everyone covered, and my eyes just always do that when I see a bill." He insists as they nod and wave goodbye. Setting the card on the table, I slide in across from Ike, sighing and putting his hands on the table as I bite my lip.  
"I'm so happy for them," I state dreamily." I bet their wedding will be perfect, God, I hope it works out for them."  
"Oh it will, I have no doubt. They're the modern Romeo and Juliet." He jokes as the waitress picks up the check and cashes it. Thanking us for the tip, she gives Ike back his card and we sit in silence for a few minutes. "Hype," he mumbles, staring to wring his hands.  
"Yea Ike," I slowly gaze, looking into his eyes.  
"Never mind, he sighs, "ready to go?"  
"Sure," I mutter as he takes me by hand, picking up his card and shoving it in his wallet we leave in complete silence. Bizarre right?

...  
"No Ike," I say, taking my hands away from him as he gives me an instant puppy dog face. We're having a date night where there are supposed to be no worries, just romance.  
"Why not?" he states, not sure if he is confused or trying to make me even more mad; maybe because he's gotten too many ideas from Bridge and David earlier at lunch. This isn't far to me and he's not even thinking. He's drunk, I'm certain but it just isn't right.  
"Ike, I said no," I say sternly, he is not giving up this water's freezing and we both know if we capsize of anger we'd be near death. A few miles off from the pier, Ike and I publicly debate whether to have sex later of not. It's not that I'm scarred too- Oscar made sure of it, but the thought of us being in a room alone and naked together makes me uneasy as I think about what lies under his boxers and his bare hands touching my breast; kissing me and holding me close.  
"But come on, please," he pleads; there is a certain determination in his voice I can't miss.  
"Do you not know what you already have?" I say calmly, no doubt rage is building inside of me.  
"Of course I do, I just want more," he says, trying to stay calm, I can tell he is getting mad too.  
"Of course you do," I mutter, crossing my arms. "But there is still so much time."  
"I know that Hype, but can I ask why we can't?" he asks, using his puppy dog face.  
"I said so Ike; do I have to remind you that I am not even twenty; you're not even twenty two yet." I say sharply, he holds his hands up in defense. The boat rocks to the left a lot; anymore we will capsize, no doubt.  
"I don't see why you're so upset," he cuts in.  
"Maybe it's because you get so abusive, Oscar's a better partner than you," I whisper the last part mostly to myself. With all luck, he doesn't hear me as I grin slightly. I cast my gaze down to avoid his eyes. "You are not going to hurt me again Ike, I don't need this right now."  
"Hype, I never," he starts, I don't let him finish.  
"Take me home," I mutter.  
"No," he says with a heavy tone.  
"Then I'll swim." I challenge.  
"You aren't going home," he says. He holds the oars as I see his knuckles turn white.  
"Watch me," I yell. I immediately step out of the boat into the freezing water. Fully in the water before he can stop me. He rows himself to the dock as fast as I can swim in the death trap. He beats me to the dock as I climb out wet head to toe. He gets out and tries to compromise with me.  
"Don't help," I mutter walking away.  
"I can see you still aren't extinguished," he says sarcastically. He thinks for a second and smirks. "While you are already getting undressed-"  
"I'm going home," I say and start off in that direction "Don't turn your back on me Hype; tell me why we can't have sex." He yells after me. You can't leave every time you get mad."  
"I want you to understand that you can't get everything you want," I yell in reply, not thinking about his question. I thought for a second before I take another step. "And I am not getting naked with you in that bed." I say. I turn my back to him and start walking. He stands there speechless, mouth wide open.  
Well, that's that, I thought, some boat ride, huh.


	6. Part 5

"Ike, I told you no," I say.  
"I couldn't help it." He says defiantly. He tries to hold my hand, but I know this and pull away.  
"You couldn't help it because it was a temptation," I say with edge.  
"You liked it though." He comments.  
"I was asleep," I say sassily as he holds his hands up, but we both know what he did was wrong.  
"Hype, I love you," he pleads.  
"Never thought love was also betrayal," I say with sass. Ike looks like a lost dog now, helpless and hungry. We sit in silence as we take all of our arguments in. He knows I won this fight, we both do, and even Bridget and Davey do. Though we try not to fight in front of them, I can't help it if Ike tries to pick at it.  
"What happens if I get pregnant?" I challenge.  
"Then you do, and we will have a little bundle of joy," he says, trying to lighten the mood, no dice. No slightest clue says I'm going to forgive him this easy.  
"Bridget and Davey are planning on getting married and having kids in the future." He says slowly, not knowing my reaction.  
"We can't do everything everyone else is doing," I say. He kisses my forehead; I pull away, but can't. "Just getting everything you want huh," This proves how much I've become hostile towards him.  
"Doesn't matter what or who goes in there," he says.  
"No Ike, all it matter to you is what will come out of there in nine months," I say. He knows exactly what I mean. I get up from the bed, surprisingly able too, and throw a shirt at him. He throws it right back at my face. Little Rebel, I think and sigh, another fight, it will be hard, but it was his fault. I told him no. He disobeyed. I'm not going to be quiet, I'm be one hundred percent me. Say whatever I want whenever I want. Eat a lot of deserts and have fun with my friends. But it's not like what Ike did I can shake off. He took advantage of me; at least he isn't Morris or Oscar. At least we aren't sure I'm actually pregnant, he could be slapped. Gosh, I think after muttering some pretty creative swears. I stare at the door a bit longer, regretting when he comes back.

"What if I have the baby," I ask, desperately wanting an answer.  
"We don't know if," he says.  
"I don't care," I cut him off as I see him grasp the oars of the boat, rocking in the waves.  
"What if the baby is born," I repeat with a bit more tone, "tell me now or I will swim to shore."  
"We keep it," he simply states looking at me. He looks upset at me, only because I'm mad.  
"Keep a kid Ike, yea that's a good plan," I snap.  
"What else is there to do?" he nearly yells. "Kill them by miscarriage?"  
"So I get to spend a day at the bar?" I say sarcastically.  
"No," he says. "Too many things can happen when people are drunk."  
"Like get drunk and kill someone? Or get brushed by someone I don't even know?" I reply.  
"We are keeping the kid," he says after some thought.  
"We can't have kid Ike, we just aren't ready" I nearly scream.  
"Well, what now?" he asks with sparkles in his eyes, hard to miss.  
"Send it to the orphanage," I say.  
"No way, if I the kid is born don't want to send it away as if it was a mistake." He responds.  
"They won't know, we just leave them in a basket with a blanket or something, put a picture of us or something," I say with a slight smile.  
"Hype," he gasps, "we are keeping the child no matter how much you don't care. You are going to love that child. God damn it; you are not going to give the baby away. And if I didn't say it enough, I'm sorry."  
"A sorry that could lead to a lifetime of a mistake." I repeat. I glance at him, then over the side of the boat. He catches this as he starts to speak, he pauses a little and I am taken back by the sternness in his voice.  
"Don't you dare jump."  
"What if," I push.  
"Hype, if you do…"  
"Do what?" I reply with sass, "You're going to tip the boat? Real mature, Ike, you get scarred now if I get my hair wet."  
"You're a lady and don't make me, Hype, it's freezing and I don't want to go home this early," he snarls as I see his knuckles turn white. I catch this right as he flips the boat.  
"Ike," I scream as we surface, "How stupid can you be?" Chilled to the bone, I shiver- good thing both of our phones are waterproof and safely tucked away.  
"Doesn't matter, you were going to jump," he snarls. "I said I was sorry. It's too late to turn the clock back. I would do it if I could, we can talk about this forever; but it still won't do any good. I wouldn't hurt you for the world, but we'll get through this somehow."  
"I don't care what you say, I know you are sorry, but sometime actions speak louder than words." I reply grouchily as we tip the boat back over and climb in.  
"Your hair got wet,' he smiles as we try to balance the boat so it's easier for us to stand up a little, he breaths heavily and I instantly know he is freezing, almost a popsicle. I am too. Heh, an Ikesicle- now that's classic.  
"No," I gasp happily, lifting my hands to my hair.  
"Let me braid it," he says. I have to let him, I don't want him to but we really don't have any choice. I know what I have to do next. I take a deep breath and start.  
"Ike," I whisper, "I'm sorry, I'm just scarred."  
"I know," he says, but that's what love is, accepting someone, even if they don't accept you. Love is staying with someone even if they are mad." He says as he looks off to the moon. It's big and yellow, most likely Jack is thinking about Santa Fe when he sees it. He says it turns night right into day.  
"Thanks, I needed that," I smile. He looks at my stomach and winces.  
"We can talk about it later," I gush. He nods and finishes the braid; we sit for a few minutes before he says something.  
"Done," he whispers as kisses my cheek. Out of nowhere I start to swoon as he starts talking. The mood has drastically changed as I am no on his lap in a boat, watching the moon.  
"Love of my life, Look deep in my eyes, there you will find what you need." He whispers into my ear. I kiss look at him and see his perfect smile; he's singing beloved from Tenth Avenue North to me, how sweet after something so spicy.  
"You're my beloved; lover I'm yours, death shall not part us. For better or worse, forever we'll be together. It's a mystery how we didn't find each other sooner." He continues. I catch his gush in the pale moonlight, I think for a second as I adjust my position. My head is now on his lap while I'm lying down. He strokes every knot of my braid it feels good all over.  
"I know I need You, I need to love you. I love to see you and I need to hear you, is that so wrong?" I ask as he looks down at me.  
"It's not wrong; to society it looks wrong because we aren't like them. They don't know what love is if Race never made a cat call to them," he jokes.  
"One of these days," I smile. He begins to row us back to shore while I'm trying to balance myself without his arms around me. Quoting various song lyrics, we laugh the rest of the night peacefully as the sound of the waves lapping on the shore finally lulls us to sleep.

Ike looks deeply into my eyes as I cast my gaze down, not looking at his meaningful eyes. I finger Ike's watch; having ideas he has no clue about. I unclip it from his arm when he's not looking and hold it up to him.  
"Hype, Give," he says.  
"Not a dog, I'm not going to follow around and do what you say all the time" I state, I look at him is a mischievous way. He tries to think of things to say that won't make me madder at him.  
"You didn't love me," I mutter.  
"Repeat," he says sternly.  
"You didn't love me," I say with more vigor.  
"Hype, yes I do." He replies.  
"No you don't." I cross my arms, clenching the pocket watch, possibly anymore and my furry will melt the metal.  
"Explain," he continues.  
"I don't know what it was, maybe you didn't want to be alone or maybe you needed me to make your life better, but you didn't love me. You don't destroy the people you love; for all I know, you're destroying me. I'm not the same person I was a few months ago." I say, trying not to yell.  
"First off, Hype: we fear rejection, want attention, crave affection and dream of perfection in life. Also, Hype, if this is about the baby, you should know I'm really," he says.  
"I told you, there is nothing to be sorry about." I reply sternly.  
"I just want you to know I am," he says hastily before I could cut him off.  
"It doesn't matter, I trusted you, and now your words mean nothing because your actions spoke the truth." I say walking around him, trying not to fall into the water.  
"Whatever," he says, "I tried, but you don't care."  
"No," I say sharply, "You didn't care when you did that to me when I was asleep." I point at him accusingly. He takes a step back as I continue.  
"You are just like everyone we know. You're just like Jack, taking charge of what you want to get what you want. You're just like Davey, wanting how many kids your wife is willing, and then pushing the limit. You're just like Race, being oblivious to the world, and then making a joke about life." I say sternly. He keeps taking small steps back, holding his hands up in defense.  
"Hype, I am no way like," he protests.  
"Well, I've had it. I want you, the Ike I got married too. Not someone that I can easily match to everyone else in the world. You know what. In some ways, you're just like Pulitzer, not caring about others and only caring about what you don't have." My voice turns into an exasperated scream as I know everyone at the dock is looking at us. He tries to protest every chance he can get. Soon enough we both know he is at the edge of the dock, one more accusation and he will be soaking wet.  
"Hype, I can see that now, thanks for pointing it out, but I keep trying to say that I'm." he says, still holding his hands up. I stand on my toes to appear taller I also have a stern look in my eyes and use an angry tone.  
"No you're not," I say, poking his chest for the final time.  
"Hype, yes I," he starts.  
"No you're not," I yell for the last time. He seems to lose his footing on the slippery dock and falls right in. As I know it, I am right on the edge of the dock. I quickly shove the watch in my shoe, hopefully it won't get to wet. I don't have any other intentions but to jump in after him in horror. I don't see him as I surface, for fear I landed on him, but then again, I would feel it. I start screaming as I don't see him. Screaming is my only defense and source of help if needed. He hugs me from behind and tries to calm me as Star, Blink and a few others try not to stare at us from above. I finally gain a sense of relief as I find myself in Ike's arms in the sand. I kiss his nose, then turn to take off my almost destroyed boots and squishy socks to reveal a small bit of gold and give it to Ike as he puts in back on his wrist. I realize I'm shivering as Ike hugs me and talks to me in a gentle tone. I am still a bit oblivious to the world as I dig my face into his rock solid chest and begin to quiver, though its winter, it's below freezing, possibly being in the negative temperatures.  
"I'm really sorry, Ike. I'm just…sorry; just really sorry, really, truly sorry." I stutter a bit. He hugs me even closer even though I'm on his lap. I'm pretty sure I have been getting a lot of weird looks lately. It takes a bit of shaking from Ike and a bit of coaxing from him as I draw out of his shirt.  
"Hey, Hype," he pokes me only to make me go deeper into his shirt. "Can I see your smile?" I shake my head as he strokes my hair.  
"It's okay, really," he coaxes. He pulls out an eglantine rose from his back pocket. It's a bit smashed but I see it before he braids it in my hair.  
"Hype, what is this flower, what does it mean." He asks gently as he hands me the last. I take my tear damaged face from his shirt and sniff a bit; no doubt my face is red from crying so hard. I barely change positions as I lean my head on him and put my hand in the center of him as I grasp the flower with the other.  
"It's an eglantine rose," I sniff, "it um, means," it takes me a few minutes to recall the meaning.  
"A wound to heal?" he finishes as I wipe my eyes again. I nod my head and kiss him on his nose again as we don't move, just sit as we watch the sun set over the water. Sketch and Davey must have saw the scene, offering silent appreciation to Ike and my forgiveness to each other. Ike bounces me up and down a bit to make me crack a smile, but it doesn't really come.  
Ike gives me this look that says let's stay out here a bit, we can get the kids later, it's not that late anyways. I nod in agreement as Ike changes positions; spreading his legs out and I sit in the middle of him. He keeps his arms wrapped tightly around me after he massages his legs a bit as we look at the stars. After a few more hours, we return to the dock to pick up his things and finally head home. What a great word and place to come back too.


	7. Part 6

Hype's POV  
"Hype, wake up," Ike nudges me, "come on, I know your tired, but have to wake up. Happy Valentine's day by the way"  
"Wake me up when I care." I snap. "Oh, and happy Valentine's Day."  
"Well then," he says, he puts his head in the crook of my neck as I turn over, shoving my face deeper into the pillows.  
"Hype, if you could do anything you wanted today, what would it be." He says. It takes me some time to think as he coaxes me out. I think for a second and look into his eyes, he really means it.  
"To eat ice cream in bed all day," I smile. He gives me a shake as he goes to the closet. Picking out his clothes for the day, light colored pants with a pink polo shirt for the occasion, I smile at him  
"Where are you going?" I ask as he leaves the bedroom.  
"To make your wish come true," he smiles. I sink into the bed a bit as sunlight draws me out from under the coves. Pulling out my laptop, I simply copy down a cheesy love letter for him, shove the card in an envelope and seal it just as he gets home. Still in my nightgown, Ike comes back with a large bundle of bags, he thought of everything.  
"Wasn't sure of what flavor you wanted, but I got a quart of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry and a pint of mint, German chocolate and finally, cookies and cream ice cream," he says happily as he empties the bag. "I also got you a special ice cream spoon," he smiles cheekily as he pulls the spoon out of his back pocket.  
"You got a spoon engraved," I smile happily as I take it, noticing the sentence at the head.  
"Read it to me, he says grabbing another spoon from the kitchen. He comes back in sees me snicker as he closes the curtains. Just enough light filters into the room as I can see everything at the park at high noon.  
"Calories don't count on this spoon?" I ask as he snickers. He also hands me a dozen red roses and a card, in which I open hastily.  
Hype,  
Dearly beloved, you are the light of my life no matter what happens. I love you for you and I hope society isn't being as big as a bitch as it used to be.  
As I lie in my bed,  
Your name running through my head.  
All I can think of is you  
And all that you do.  
The way you look at me.  
I feel as if I'm in a dream.  
The blue sky  
Reminds me...  
I love you forever and always Hype. I hope you feel honored this Valentine's Day and I hope we have more in the years to come.  
~Ike O'Malley

"Hope you like the card; dig in," he smiles, popping open the mint. I reach for the cookies and crème as he makes a face.  
"Oh, I also got toppings: chocolate syrup, caramel and whipped cream, chocolate and rainbow sprinkles, and if we so do desire, a jar of cherries." He says, pulling them onto the bed. I laugh in delight he dabs wiped cream on my nose.  
"Just a little more," Ike says, shaking another bottle of chocolate syrup. "Perfect, just like you."  
"We are so going to throw up later," I laugh as I scrape the cookies and crème clean out of its container. Neither of us really wants to get a trash can so I put the lid on and toss it to the side. He looks at me and kisses my forehead as he gets up to get undressed. He crawls back into bed with his undergarments on as I reach for the quart of vanilla.  
"You better share that," he smirks.  
"It was my idea," I smile as he picks up the cookies and crème container.  
"Wow, never thought that you could clean out a container that clean, looks like nothing has even been in it." He smirks. I smile as he holds out the jar to me as I spoon out vanilla into the jar.  
"Let me dress it for you," he says, taking the larger container and squirting in at least two ounces of chocolate and caramel syrup, whipped cream, half a jar of rainbow sprinkles and two cherries.  
"I'm going to have a heart attack," I kid as I each for Ike's container. I drop in caramel syrup, rainbow sprinkles and three cherries.  
"I don't like cherries," he whimpers, I roll my eyes.  
"It's okay, I don't either," I smile.  
"Then why did I get them?" he questions.  
"Because you love me, that am why," I say, he pulled me close for a long lingering kiss as I drop a bit of ice cream on the bed. I give him a 'who cares' look as we continue on. By the end of the day we have a pint of chocolate, strawberry and German chocolate, half a jar of cherries, and half a bottle of Carmel and a cup of chocolate sprinkles. No doubt one of us threw up and surprisingly, it wasn't me. It was Ike. I lead him into the bathroom and he hangs over the trash can, vomiting everything he consumed today, and it was a lot. I carefully lead him back to the bed as he threw up more than one time. He hit his head on the first time coming back. He lays in bed looking like he did before he got the ice cream, and it's crazy, we have so much left. I feel bad for them but we all are tired after consuming so much ice cream. I lay next to him and he sits up, just to rub my stomach. We don't do anything, but just admire everything about him. It's really early, but still we go back to sleep for a nap, but none of us have plans from five o'clock onward besides dinner, but we are already full anyways.  
"I love you baby," I say, kissing his cheek as I burrow under the covers and flutter my eyes. In an instant, I fall asleep.

Hype's POV  
Lightly raining, I look into his steel grey eyes and he finally obliges.  
"Thank you Oscar," I coo as we begin to strip in the alleyway. I'd hate to do it in public, but Ike is still asleep and I've been waiting all night for this. Secretly planning on it with Oscar who seems a bit wearier, striped, Oscar puts our clothes and undergarments under a shelf of cardboard and sheet metal to protect it from the rain; may smell like shit later, but better than having to walk home. Lying me down on a cardboard box supported by two trash cans, he injects into me standing up and I reach for him as he picks me up and holds me against the brick wall, wrapping my legs around his body.  
"Why are we doing this Hype? If Ike or Lavender found out, they'd kill us." He states. "Lavender means the world to me and I don't want to lose her, you should feel the same way about Ike."  
"Well, it's not like Ike is bad at sex it's just it hurts way more it should, you know?" I whisper as he slowly nods.  
"Well not at all, Lavender and I haven't gotten that far," he sighs. My back hurts but it's worth it as he thrust a little deeper into me.  
"So wait, I took your virginity?" I ask. He nods yes. "Ike took mine, and I took his. Now I'm taking yours? Oscar, I am so sorry." He waves it off and kisses me as I straddle him and he moans. Separating his thighs a little more, making sure to not lock his knees, the penetration goes deeper and soon we have to stop so I can put my legs off of him. Now almost maybe seven people stroll on the streets to their jobs.  
Ike's POV  
Starting to rain, I drape my hood over my head and start for home as I hear a faint noise up ahead in the next alleyway. On the other side of the street, I realize I have found my noise. Seeing two figures, I shrug at it and continue walking, but it bothers me and I don't know why. Taking a second look, I realize Oscar Delancey has a girl pushed up against the wall and she's crying. I feel the need to rescue her because of his crooked ways, but he seems to be soothing her and so enough, the crying stops. The streetlights finally come on and I tug my jacket tighter. The girl finally takes her hands away from her face and I realize it's Hype. In shock, I shout her name and she looks in my direction clearly confused. She looks back at Oscar and kisses him quickly as she flees away from his grasp. He catches her last second and I see her wince from her scars. Oscar kisses her one more time deeply and lets her go as she flees towards home as well.  
Hype's POV  
"Hype I found you!" Ike shouts as he approaches. His eyes widen at the sight as tears line my eyelids.  
"No, Ike you don't understand," I plead. He balls his hands into fists and grabs me.  
"Get your clothes we are going." He growls in my ear.  
"Ike, just listen," I whine.  
"Get your clothes we are going," he growls.  
"Ike," I protest one the last time as he gets real close to me, almost pushing me against the wall.  
"You have nothing to say to me. We are leaving." He states for the last time.  
"Ike, no it wasn't like," Oscar starts.  
"I'm sorry Oscar but I believe I don't give a fuck right now." He growls as he motions for me to get my clothes back, change and drag my sorry ass home.

The moment he slams me against the wall of our apartment I know he's drunk.  
"Ike, you had no right to do that for me!" I shout as he advances towards me.  
"You had not right to have sex with Oscar in front of my face." He growls.  
"Ike, just stop it." I cry.  
"I'll stop when one of us is dead," he snaps as I make a quick getaway and flee to the bedroom, bolting myself in and slamming the window shut. Tears are streaming down my face as I pick up the blade; go through all of the worthless quotes about how you should not cut.  
"Ike, you said you would always be here for me," I yell, slicing my skin as blood flows immediately from it. "You said you love me for me and I slipped up one time." I scream. It starts pouring rain as night falls and I slip the blade across my left arm a few more times. Setting the blade down, I turn on the shower and cry my heart out. People say the best place to cry is in the rain because no one realizes you are crying, but I like my privacy and there is no way I'll be facing that bastard tonight. The water steams my skin, leaving it soft and bloodless. I think about cutting more, but I just can't. I get out, towel off and bandage my entire arm and fall asleep in bed. Crying as the rain falls and the thunder shakes the building. Lightning flashes past the bedroom window as I scream out in agony. Wake up in the morning to soggy sheets and messy hair; the bandage on my arm is soaked with blood as I change it and put a clean one on and add pressure in various places. Using Vaseline to stop the bleeding in some parts of my arm, I apply some to my dry elbows, lips and cuticles as it softens them. Especially for my lips as winter is a beast for drying out skin. I apply a small amount to my hair as I know it prevents split ends. Vaseline is a girl's best friend when it comes to beauty to me and I enjoy it as it's a gentle product. Changing and coming out of the bedroom, I see Ike's eyes glazed over on the couch. Scarred he's dead; I make slight noises accidently waking him. He awakes in shock and looks at me. Growling, he turns back over to sleep, knowing what he heard last night, I feel sorry for him. I guess I'll have to apologize to him later, but as soon as I make this discussion, Ike's arms are around me as I protect myself from his hugs and I face him.  
"Hey Ike," I whisper as he pulls me into my arms gently. A tear slips down my face and I smile. "I love you."


	8. Part 7

Ike's POV  
"Hype, I'm going somewhere," I say as gently as I can. I can't hurt her anymore for she's on the verge of breaking.  
"Where," she asks in a small voice.  
"For a stroll," I blurt out. "I need to be alone for a few hours."  
"Oh, ok. Just come back for me," she says, smiling gently as she kisses me.  
"I'll always come back. Just check your phone often," I smile back. She starts to weld up tears in her eyes and I look at her sympathetically. "Hey, you ok?"  
"No Ike, you just…" she starts.  
"Hype, just finish the statement," I ask desperately.  
"You don't come home at night and I get worried." She states as I kiss her hand.  
"I know, I'm sorry," I lied. "I'll text you later."  
"I'll call you when I need you to be home," she whines. I nod, not sure if she's just messing with my mind because I'm slightly drunk or if she really means she loves me. Personally, after what all we're going through, I think it's time to move on if she kills herself. I mean, I'm still supporting her all I can, but if I learned anything in school, it's that you are the only person who persuades you what is right and what is wrong. I will confess although that I have another girl on my mind and I don't care if she's a prostitute. In a relationship with Oscar, she always tells me he abuses her and it's quite obvious anyways, so I'm prepared to die if we get caught. Now, I don't exactly know how, but apparently she can fall for a guy from Flushing. Fishing in my pockets for my wallet, I find gum-they are mints really- my keys and Hype's proposal ring. I hate keeping it from her, but I don't want her to get her hopes up and then have a letdown. I don't know what exactly to do with it, maybe give it to Sketch and Davey for safe keeping? I'm not sure. I feel good about tonight, having sex with Lavender. She's not Hype and I already lost my virginity to Hype, but Lavender doesn't mind taking a beating. I hate going behind Hype's back as she has confessed having sex with Oscar, getting her pregnant and then killing the child by alcohol but she's made her choice and I made mine. Now this is a really big secret to keep from her. If she finds out, she'll commit suicide, and I know this based on her history but I want sex before I erect out of my pants. Hype also wanted sex, but she's too sensitive sometimes and I can't deal with that tonight. Still wondering about Hype, I take a deep breath, personally I don't think she even cares about her life anymore, just going through the motions, she has no idea how big of an impact she has. For all I care, I can bet she doesn't need or want me, leaving me on my own when she dies. But still I know she needs me. I'm her lifeline to this crazy world and that's the only reason I put up with her most of the time.

Hype's POV  
I wrap myself in a blanket and sit on the couch surrounded by the TV, my phone and my laptop, but more importantly, my music. Music can save lives I swear, it's saved mine multiple times already I think as I roll up my sleeves to my elbows and slowly trace my scars. Without instantly realizing it, I get a text from Ike and smile as I read it, instantly making me furious.  
From: My_damsel_in_distress: Can't wai 2nite. Let's be brave and go all da way :D  
I haven't seen him with any other girl, so I now know where he goes all the time and I know what he's doing. Coaxing another woman to have sex with him, and yet I tell myself to take the high road. I text him through a new text so he doesn't know he sent it to the wrong phone.  
To: My_idiot_in_alunimum_foil: Love you so much and I miss you 3 Need you by my side. Sorry, but kinda doubtin, do you still luv me? Rlly. B Honest.  
I slump even deeper into the couch as I open and browse the internet for random and stupid things on Wikipedia. Ike must have texted back as I check my phone: one new message.  
From: My_damsel_in_distress: Of course I'm still in love with you darling. Will be home late tonight, sleep tight my angel. Oh, btw have to confess sumthin 2 you 2nite, may break your heart js. Srry  
Yea right he loves me back, so this is what I get of his message: Of course I'm still in love with you darling. It's pretty obvious he put that in there, pretty clever I might add. Don't you just love it when someone lies to you when you already know the truth?  
"Oh hell no," I scream, thank God no one is home except for me. He isn't going to break my heart anyways; I already know what he's going to say. I try to give him a piece of my mind as I speed dial him but he doesn't pick up, of course, he obviously doesn't care about me anymore. How much proof do I need?

Ike's POV  
I knock on the door of Lavender's apartment as she immediately answers; glowing with delight I brought her a white rose. She's one of those girls who sell flowers during the day and she knows what definition it is. Secrecy. She smiles as she drags me in the bedroom, excited about tonight. About a half an hour later, I smile cheekily at her as she changes into her night clothes, she does the same thing as I take off my Polo shirt, leaving only my pants and undergarments on. I walk up to hug her as she jumps a little as I pinch her bottom. She sweetly smiles whispering "cheeky boy" into my ear. We crawl into bed as Lavender curls up to me the way Hype used too. Hasn't done it much anymore since we haven't had sex in a while but its ok. . I kiss her forehead as she drags herself out of bed and to the door where I hear a slight knock later. I check my phone and I have 3 new texts, shocking really.  
From: Oliver_Green: Didn't show up to Guy's nite out, let's try again next Saturday. But its okay I guess, Anthony showed up and I'm pretty sure you can guess what happened.  
From: Your_bruder_Mike_obey_me_Lol: Mom and Dad's anniversary is this week, don't make me remind you to call them, like the past three years? #Yolo  
From: My_damsel_in_distress: thnx 4 lyin 2 me. Sorry for lying to you earlier but didn't know revealin the truth is like lighting a match. Can bring light or set your world on fire.  
I roll my eyes as I slip the phone in my pocket as Lavender calls for me to come to the door. Hype frowns at me as I draw nearer. Apparently the mood has changed as she runs up and hugs me, and to admit it, she's so warm against my bare chest it feels good. Hype smothers me in kisses as Lavender makes a small gasp and points to Hype's arms. I slowly nod at her as I grimace, hugging Hype back.

Hype's POV  
"Ike," I cry into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry for whatever I did that started this turmoil in our relationship but you can't have sex with her." I can't seem to let go as Ike breaks our hug. I feel tears lining my eyes as I stare into his emerald green eyes.  
"Hype, yes I can. I paid for us to have sex tonight," I say as gently as possible, making Hype steam. I ignore Lavender for the moment as I hug Ike again for a few seconds, not caring how awful my scars hurt, I just hug him tighter.  
"You were going to have sex with me?" Lavender asks as Ike stands opened mouth.  
"I-I texted you didn't I. I paid you last week." Ike says pulling out his phone, and then looks at me. I slowly nod my head as Ike hides his face in his hands. "How did you find me Hype?"  
"Sometimes a jealous woman does better research than the FBI. Actually, there's a GPS system on both of our phones, I just have to type in your number and I know where you're at. You can do the same for me too, so you don't have to spend hours walking around Manhattan." I smile sweetly, wiping tears away. Ike asks Lavender if we could have a moment and I fear that Ike's going to break my heart, but I'll be strong this time. I'll do it for him.

Ike's POV  
I stare into Hype's already puffy, red eyes as I can't help but feel bad for her. There's no way I can tell her about mine and Lavenders' active sex relation. We've been together for the longest time and even though I pay Lavender to have sex with her there isn't a connection, but something tells me she wouldn't buy it. I need to tell her, but I just can't. Not now anyways.


	9. Part 8

Hype's POV

I try to hold Ike's hand, but he pulls away awkwardly.

"Ike, please don't have sex with her," I plead, he just shrugs his shoulders, he probably isn't even listening to me.

"Hype, I already paid her," he comments.

"But you can have sex with me for free," I exclaim. ". How can you not see Lavender the way the world sees her. She's a slut." I whine.

"Hype," Ike half shouts, I look over to her as she begins to tear up and leaves the room.

"Ike, don't you dare get in that bed," I threat.

"Hype, walk a mile in her shoes okay? She's probably listening to us right now. God dammit, the first time I have sex behind your back you find out, but when you have sex with Oscar I don't find out about it until you're pregnant?" he snaps. "At least you guys could have used protection."

"I am not putting my mouth where his dick is," I scold as he looks at me and get Lavender to come into the room. "Lavender," I say sweetly, knowing this is a fact and she'll take my side whether Ike has sex with her or not, as long as she's already been paid, she doesn't care what happens to her body. "When Oscar and you have sex and he has to wear a condom, he makes you slide it on him using your mouth correct?" I ask as she nods promptly.

"Disgusting as it is, it's true and don't do it because it sounds exciting, it's awful, but it got me a killer pair of heels one time," she gloats as I look at Ike. He frowns and turns to me.

"Hype, I don't mean to put you in your place, but I'm the man, I make the decisions for us. You're the girl; you cook and clean for me. Your place is the kitchen." Ike explains.

"I don't care Ike, and I'd like to point out that if you think the woman's place is the kitchen, just remember that's where the food is." I snap.

"When you actually eat it," he snaps back.

"It's my territory Ike, and just because you say my place is the kitchen, it just proves you don't know what to do to a woman in the bedroom." I say, furrowing my brow at him. Silence, all we can hear is the sink dripping from the kitchen.

"Alright, so what happens if I do get in that bed?" Ike whispers at me, crossing his arms.

"Two words," I snap, "my suicide." I turn to leave as I wave to Lavender thinking there is a possibility we could become great friends one day.

Ike catches me for a few seconds as I pull away.

"Hype you can't," Ike starts.

"Check your phone," I snap, "I'm busy." With that I quickly send a super mean text. I swear, when I'm mad, my texting speed triples.

To: My_idiot_in_alunimum_foil: I kno wut I kno bout Lav. So stfu I aint gonna actually comit suicide so just intoxicate urself with as much alcohol as possible k? Lolz maybe….

As I stomp back to the apartment and as soon as I open the door I get an instant reply.

From: My_damsel_in_distress: Look Hype, suicide isn't something I mess with okay? Even if you try, I'll call the cops. We will talk about this later. Btw, you're pretty when you're mad/upset. :P

Oh yea, I think, explain the text that started it all. Still really aggravated at him, I open my laptop and type in my password and look up ways to die without it actually hurting. I open my self-harm scars a little when I'm not looking and I immediately stop, putting a little iodine on them. Here comes the pain train, I think and actually crack a smile then cuss out the world as the stuff stings my cuts like a thousand bees, afterwards, I text Ike back rudely.

To: My_idiot_in_alunimum_foil: haha, if I'm still alive :P Oh, so I'm ugly when I'm happy? Well I'm about to be gorg

I think I get an instant reply from him but I don't check it immediately as I change for bed, as if I'm actually going to sleep tonight. I go back to my little spot on the couch. I was right; it was Ike and also texts from Sketch, Nicole and Star. Of course, I check the girl's texts first, but they make no effort to comfort me the way Ike usually would. It's just been really hard the past month.

From: Sketching_ is_amazing: Hype, r you kk? Ike sent out a mass txt, you aren't gonna commit suicide r you? Very concerned, commin' over soon, ttyl. 3

From: Why_is_my_name_still_BF: Hype…you dere? Don't commit suicide plz PLZ PLZ. We need you in dis world. Plz txt back if your kk? Well, you're not kk, but plz txt back if you're still alive.

From: Starstruck_much: Hype, DON'T EVEN THINK about committing suicide okay? We need you in this world, you taught me how to break outta me erster when I became your friend. Don't make this permanent move for your temporary emotions. People who die by suicide don't want their lives to end, they want their pain to end, remember that 4 me k? Will b over soon with Sketch/Smalls/Nicole/Mike/Davey

From: My_damsel_in_distress: I'm coming home right now, you will live another day if it kills me.

Good luck, I smirk as I hear a knock on the door. Star peeps through the surrounding windows as Sketch pulls her away. I slowly get up with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and shut my laptop before I forget. I try to put on a brave face as I open the door but it disappears like fairy dust as I immediately go into Sketch's arms. She calms me down like I'm a little kid as I soon find myself surrounded by everyone in the living room. We don't really do anything until Star gets up, goes to our bedroom and pulls out one of my favorite things in the world: my boom box.

"Hype," Stella smiles, petting my shoulder, "I think you should listen to this," Its apart of the musical called Spring Awakening and there's this guy named Moritz and you can read the synopsis for it, but he commits suicide because he believes there is no way out of his situation and he shoots himself. This is at his funeral," Plugging in her mp3 and turning the volume up, I instantly fall in love with the music. The sweet lyrics circulate the room. I do nothing but cry as we listen to the music while Star or Smalls eat a little bit of chocolate or something. I think I start to smile as Davey tries to lip sing or something, but the good vibe goes away as Ike walks into the apartment. Wordlessly, he walks into the bedroom and locks the door. My phone chirps as I get a text, it's from Ike, and yet he couldn't just tell me.

From: My_damsel_in_distress: Look, I'm sorry that I haven't been giving as much as I should, it's just that this month has been really hard. For the both of us, I really care about you so please don't commit suicide. I promise I didn't have sex with Lavender, I swear. Star told me the only reason you cut is because of me and I'm sorry for that. Please forgive me.

"Hype," Sketch asks slowly, "what scars?" I smile grimly as I take off the blanket wrapped around my shoulders, revealing my cuts, some of them actually healed because of the iodine, but I am never putting that on my cuts ever again. Ike steps out of the bedroom as the song ends and I look up. stepping out of the bedroom, it's obvious he's been crying a and he asks me if I could follow him to the bedroom as I catch Star making the weirdest gag face ever as Mike rocks Nicole in his arms, kissing her every so often. I now sit on the bed as Ike sits next to me, at least a few inches apart.

"Hype," he starts, interrupted by his phone and he smiles as he sees who it's from.

Ike's POV

From: My_idiot_in_alunimum_foil: Hey, I guess. So if you noticed I haven't been talking lately since…anyways, when I say I'm fine I'm really not okay? I'm strong sometimes but really inside, I'm as broken as anything really. And girls aren't toys; you can't drop them every time you get bored. Anyways, I don't know why I'm not talking…I guess it's just because this is like, the part of me I wanted no one else to ever find out. Like, your deep dark secrets that can burry you alive. And I'm sorry I called Lavender a slut and told you to shut the flicker up. I'm just really sorry.

To: My_damsel_in_distress: Hey sweetie, it's okay, I mean it's kind of not because you called Lavender a slut, but it's her choice to be a prostitute….so. Now I know what I'm about to say next you will take an offence to but it's what I have to say. I think it's time to move on, I love you Hype, but if this relationship is always like this, we won't stand a chance.

Hype's POV

I shake my head as I read his text on the phone. Harshly I throw my phone at the wall, yet I don't hear it break as I lie down and cry face first into my pillow. He was right, it did break my heart and I'm guessing our visitors aren't having a really good time. I think Ike gets up and Summons Sketch, Nicole, Smalls and Star into the bedroom as he talks with Davey and his brother in the kitchen.

"Hype," Sketch sighs, the first thing she does is pick up my phone and tells me the screen is cracked a little in the corners, good, that's how I feel thought like two thousand percent worse. "What happened?"

"We heard the phone slam against the wall in the living room so…" Nicole starts.

"Just check Ike's last text," I wail as I put my head back in the pillow.

"To my idiot in aluminum foil, really Hype." Star says playfully as I nod.

"Yea," I sniff, "um when Ike first asked me for my number he wanted a cool name and we actually had so much fun coming up with them. On Ike's phone my name is: My Damsel in distress."

"Cute," Smalls comments, I nod my head slowly as Sketch asks me how to get back to the texts. I sigh; taking the phone away from her and in a few slight movements, reveal the horrifying texts. I tell them just to go through my texts at their leisure as I have all the messages stored on Ike's name, even from when the first word of slander was thrown. Then I backtrack from memory on the first day I decided to be anorexia. Has it really been almost a year and a half already? I'm guessing so, but anything is possible. "Hype," Star whispers as she slowly pats my back. I don't do anything and I think I fell asleep as Ike wakes me up. I look awful I'm sure as my face has been plastered to a pillow for the past few hours since Sketch and them came over.

"I didn't have sex with Lavender," Ike whispers, mostly to himself, as we change for bed. My phone makes a small clicking noise as I read the texts.

From: My_idiot_in_alunimum_foil: I miss you. 3

To: My_damsel_in_distress: you have no freaking idea.

From: My_idiot_in_alunimum_foil: wdym?

With that I squint my eyes at him and snarl as he looks at me with slight fear as I yell at him.

"Ugh, I don't get it," I scream, "you have no idea how much I want to write 'I miss you' on a rock and throw it at your face. Because that's how much I miss you, and you don't even know what's right in front of you, do you? And also, just because I don't start the conversation doesn't, mean I'm not dying to talk to you, Okay? "He does nothing as he sits on the bed in silence and stares away from me, I don't blame him either. I change into a basic nightgown and almost fall as I trip over one of my stupid high heels, a stiletto that I haven't worn in who knows how long? I crawl into bed next to Ike as I can't help but think how right it seems. I take my hair down from its ratty ponytail before digging my head into Ike's chest, breathing in his scent of I think gum and my perfume.

To: My_damsel_in_distress: I'm sorry and I still love you. 3

From: My_idiot_in_alunimum_foil: No you don't, you can say sorry a million times and say I 3 you as much as you want, whenever or however you want. But if you're not gonna prove what you say is tru, then don't say anything at all. If you can't show it your words don't mean a thing. K? Good. And I hate compliments rite now…feelz like im bein lied 2.

I sigh as I bring my phone out from under the covers and also I dig my head even deeper into his chest and silently sobbing. I don't know; I just want something in my life to make sense again, really. Is that too much to ask, really?

To: My_idiot_in_alunimum_foil: When the razors, pills, and knives are whispering your name, just remember I'm screaming don't do it at the top of my lungs because I love you and I never wanted you to harm urself. Ever.

From: My_idiot_in_alunimum_foil: Prove it.

To: My_idiot_in_alunimum_foil: Hush little baby don't you cry, don't slit your wrists don't say goodbye. Put down the razor and look into the light, I know it's hard but you'll win this fight. 3 Ike

I look up at him as he's fully concentrated on his phone, playing Candy Crush as I can't help but smile. He looks down at my hopeful face and smothers me in kisses as he did when I was fifteen, God where has my childhood gone?

From: My_damsel_in_distress: I missed you a lot this month, what were we even fighting about? :P And thanks for the song, thought could you sing it until I fall asleep in your arms? Plz

With one look at the text, he turns the light down, barely illuminating his face as he sets the phone on his side table as I snuggle up to him. He drapes his arms around me as he opens his mouth and starts caressing me with his words.


	10. Part 9

Hype's POV

"No, no Hype, no, just…God, please. No," Ike whispers quietly as he takes the blade out of my hand. I shake my head at it as I feel the pain in my left arm as blood flows through the wounds. "Hype, are you ok?" I shake my head as he walks back out of the bathroom and I sigh. I cut again, but this time Ike found out. Shame washes over me as I remember just last week I promised him I wouldn't cut. It's not that I didn't want to it just hurt so much and I just…don't know. "Ok, Hype, this may sting a little," he says soothingly as he wipes my arm down with an alcohol swab and I burst into tears. Sobbing, he wraps my lower arm in gauze and kisses it gently. Picking me up gracefully, he slowly puts me in bed and brings the covers over me as I flutter my eyes shut. "Hype are you ok?" Ike asks as soon as I open my tear stained eyes. Quickly wiping them with eye makeup remover I probably look like a raccoon of sort. Kissing me again, we lay on the bed like we've done several times before just to talk things over and clear the air a bit. Ike and I always do this when I'm really upset and I guess this is just one of those times.

Ike's POV

"Hype, I want us to be totally honest with each other right now," I state as she nods and sniffs a bit; picking up her left arm she winces at the pain. "Why were you cutting?" Turning back over to recollect her thoughts, I lean over her body and rough up her hair a bit; staying with her until she responds.

"Because I can," she whispers. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I want to know what your motives are," I whisper gently.

"Ike, you know what, just give me all the things I should work on in life and ignore why I should not cut." She whispers as she gently strokes my face. Lyin on my back, I take her right hand and kiss it.

"Ok then, but I don't want to hurt you," I say with a hollow voice.

"It's ok Ike, just let me hear it," she states plainly, "what do I need to work on in life?"

"Anger, "I start sympathetically, "yea, people get it but to me you just use it the wrong way. You use little white lies to people please and to pretend you're busy when all you want to do is come home and cry."

"Ike," she stops me.

"No Hype, I just need to finish this. I was too scared to start, but I need to finish this." I smile grimly. "Your uhm cutting problem makes people uncomfortable and when you talk about yourself people just assume you're asking for attention."

"Hey Ike," she cuts in again. "You're totally honest about a lot of this stuff, I can tell. But I need to be honest with you and take of this, mask I guess so you can see who I really am before it becomes who I am. Because if I don't anytime soon then well; I'd be lying to the person I love the most."

"Ok," I cough, possibly knowing where this is headed.

"Well, you already do most everything about me," she whispers; laying her head on my chest as she cuddles up to me. "But I can tell we've done some great work and I've made progress, but sometimes you're going to have to let me cut."

"But why?" I ask.

"Because I can't…" she mutters.

"What?" I ask softly.

"I can't be…" she whispers again.

"Please repeat," I plead as she sits straight up.

"Ike, I can't be good. You're you and I'm me ok? Don't you get it? Your perfect and I'm me; your special, I'm me. In school you were Mr. Popular and everyone was asking why her? Don't you see babe? I have emotions and problems and maybe I have an occasional cutting addiction or sex drive but you don't. You're you and you're perfect. You're everything society wants you to be." She bursts into tears. Face first into the pillow, I stroke her back gently as she wails away.

"No see Hype, with all due respect, I have emotions and feelings too. Every morning when I wake up I look in the mirror and all I see is someone who just isn't good enough for anything. Not good enough for these clothes, not good enough for the world. Sometimes I think I'm not even good enough for you darling." I cry as she wails louder.

"Ike, just…" she sobs into the pillow.

"No Hype, I'm ok." I lie as I wipe away the small tears starting to form in my eyes. "but the thing, you see is that whenever you're hurting, you go to whatever sharp and you cut because you're hurting, tired, sad, lonely. But it's just not working. The blood you shed is never going to wipe the slate clean for anyone but yourself and I just…we all do it Hype, we all have out little dwellings. I can tell you now that mine's our place under the pier. For me it's always been a special place never an object. You think your fooling everyone but you're just slowly killing the monster inside of you. And that hurts me the most. And we both know it's not a onetime thing, you care too much about what people think of you and again, you're not fooling anyone; your just fooling urself into believing you're not good enough. And all it is, is that its rubbish and garbage. There is no popularity prize, there never was. The only thing we should focus on in life is what the most important thing in our lives. And for me that's you and I know your hurting right now, but just hear me out. I love you Hype and for me to be able to do that, you have to love yourself."

"Ike, I don't think you understand me," she wails, sitting up wiping her tears away and hugger her pillow as the gauze on her arm has red spot on it. "I don't think you understand any of this pain."

"It hurts me more than it hurts you," I quote. "I love you Hype, and every little piece of me dies when you cut yourself; swear or do anything to yourself that causes you pain. When I see it or hear about it I just get…suicidal."

"Ike, no, I can't lose you, if I did I have no idea what I would do, but you're asking me to change so much. I know I gave you permission to rant about me and my habits but Ike, it just hurts." she pleads.

"I don't want to lose you either Hype, but sometimes that's how it goes." I respond as I'm crying in front of my beloved. She kisses me gently as all I want to do is hold her. Not in a sexual way, but one of genuine love. And society just can't bear to see eye to eye on that. "You know what insanity is Hype?" I ask slowly as she shakes her head.

"I have an idea." She mumbles.

"Insanity is where you do something over and over again expecting different results but it's just not going to happen. You've been going again to the blade like it's an empty well nothing to offer and it's insane." I finish quickly.

"And again Ike, I can't be good." She yells slightly.

"You can't be good? That's your excuse?" I state sternly.

"No Ike, it's not an excuse I can't ok?" she cries out, "but you and I both…you know what never mind."

"No Hype, tell me what it is. I will listen I swear," I whisper.

"Then it's just that I've let you down so many times," she whispers, putting a tiny hand on my shoulder. "But let me just say this one thing. And I'm still honest with you. If you want to fine out the true me that I've been trying to destroy for who know how long, well ok then. But just…be prepared for what you'll hear from me because I know what's inside. I'm just a little kid still that still cheeks under her bed for monsters but I know I don't find anything because I know the monster is inside of me. I, I try to keep them under control Ike, but I just can't. The only way I know how to kill the monsters is if I kill myself."

"Hype," I whisper, grazing her hand as she locks eyes with me.

"Ike, I just look in the mirror every day and try to act like I'm not struggling and I just can't be what everyone expects of me. I'm not even what I want to be." She screams, clutching my hand as if her life line. "But inside there's just this scared, stupid little girl who sits on the curb of the street wishing she could just run out in front of a car so she could take her own life but I just can't Ike. She just can't because she…"

"She has no idea what life has to offer her." I finish quickly as she looks gently at me. "Hype, there be will always be a rainbow after a storm but you still haven't gotten to that point yet. There are going to be other days Hype, some good, and some bad but… we'll just have to wait and see. Hype, you have listened to so many voices that give you the most dreadful impression. There giving you a permanent solution; they want you to take your own life. And you have totally bought into the lie haven't you? You think you're junk. When you lie next to me every night and convinced yourself your life is aweful, you just break like glass into a million pieces. I don't want you to break like glass; I know your heart is fragile but you need to hear me out and remember this of me ok? I love you more than anything else in the world." I say, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Then scream it to the world," she gripes.

"Hype, I love you more than anything else in the world," I whisper into her ear.

"Why, why did you do that?" she asks hesitantly, on the verge of having a total breakdown.

"Because you are my world," I whisper back. I start to leave her in her thoughts as she reaches for my hand and pulls me back. Hands on the back of my neck, she pulls me too her lips as I kiss her passionately.


	11. Ending of Understand Me

Hype's POV

Looking off at the ledge of the building, I gasp and pull back. It's just so high, I thought, but it would most defiantly kill me, if I'm lucky. Sitting further away I begin to cry. I just can't do it. Ike needs to know, but he would stop me. Maybe if I just accidently fell and died, no, stop. What am I even thinking? Even if I tried, Ike knows I'm afraid of heights, but even then people say you must face your fears one way or another. I wipe my eyes, looking downwards at the taxis, the citizens and the confusion; I teeter slightly, and then jump back. Why do I not think I'm not good enough to live anymore? I don't know. Wait. Stop. Hold on. When have I ever questioned the way I am? I mean, I've contemplated suicide before but I never planned on actually committing it. Feeling awful, I begin to throw up a little and I know that if I live, I have to tell Ike of the baby. He'll kill me and Oscar for sure, but I wouldn't have to hide anything from him. If the walls in the apartment could talk, I don't know if I could live like this anymore. I shed a few more tears, and then wipe them away; looking at my scars, I know what I must do. Blowing a kiss to the sweet colors of the sun, I take one last breath of air and jump off the ledge.

Ike's POV

I hear shouts of alarm all around me as I look up. A figure plummets to the ground as I realize it's Hype and instincts kick in as I catch her in an awkward bridal style. I open my eyes as glares form around me and I sit up a little, not realizing what was happening. I rub my head and get praise from everyone not knowing what I did and then it hits me hard. Hype tried to commit suicide by jumping off a ten story building. I look at her groggily, her eyes are closed and she has a peaceful look on her face. She looks dead but she really isn't as I feel her chest, her pulse is still going at a faster speed, probably from adrenaline, but her pulse is still beating as I rush, take her to the hospital.

…

"She will be all right, but she broke her arm so that may take a few months to heal, She also has a few cuts and a bruise on her back, if you hadn't caught her, she certainly would have died. You have some problems of your own too; you dislocated your elbow and nearly broke your left hand. It seems the way she landed on you; you have several bruises on your legs. But the good part is that if you caught her any other way or if she had more body mass, she would have broken your spine. She defiantly used you as a cushion as you have had a slight concussion when she fell on you. " Dr. Farley says sternly. Dr. Farley is our dad's friend and we've gotten to talk several times. He likes Mike and me, but I think he likes Mike a little more until today as I discreetly told him she broke her arm by a suicide attempt. Prescribing other pills for her to take to heal her cuts and anorexia, he wants her to be bulimic, thought it ruins the esophagus. Pulling me aside for more information, I follow him into an x-ray room. "Ike, I hate to tell you this, but because the way she jumped of the edge of the, and the way she landed, she also had a miscarriage." I look at him for a long time as I wordlessly turn away from him. Mad at myself and mad at Hype. Mad at myself because when I abusive her, she just has to get away from me; and I believe Oscar takes advantage for that and they had sex together. Facing the wall, I shove my hands in my pockets as Dr. Farley comes to console me.

"How many months old was the kid?" I ask miserably.

"The little girl or boy was about two months old, so her belly wasn't expanding normally. Possibly from being anorexic for however many months." He explains.

"Oh," I say hoarsely and cough, trying to hide my tears.

"Something tells me that this was not your kid." Dr. Farley says sternly.

"I have my suspicions," I whisper.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he says promptly.

"I am too," I frown, turning to face him. "I'll tell her about the miscarriage and all. But I think it's time we need to go home."

"Just be careful with her boy, and watch out for yourself too, should I tell your parents about this?" he asks, I shake my head.

"They don't care." I say softly.

"Alright then, come back in a few weeks for a follow up and I'll see you then." He says professionally as he directs me back to the room to get Hype. Daydreaming, when I come into the room she cocks her head to the side and I offer my hand. Blushing, she takes it as we walk back to the apartment. Well, half walking, half me carrying her, but I don't care. She needs it more than I do.

…

Back home, I lay her down on the bed gently, caring for her and caressing her.

"Ike, I'm" she starts.

"No, no Hype. It's ok; we're still together, together." I mutter.

"No but Ike."

"Hype, I love you, you know that?"

"Ike just listen," she cries, touching my face, "please don't touch me. I just need to, I don't know. Will it hurt you if I was alone by myself?"

"Hype," I object.

"Baby," she whines, I look into her flushed out baby brown eyes and gently kiss her cheek.

"Just let me take care of you," I say gently, "at least let me draw you a bath. I may be hurting to, but."

"Ike, no you don't need to," she emphasizes.

"I'm doing this because I love you." I state somewhat sternly. She nods and lies her head on the pillow as I fill the basin with steaming water, put her in and start washing her gently. Stepping out of the tub, I leave her there until she's ready to come out. "Hype," I say before leaving, "just promise me you'll be okay?" she nods as she leans her head back swishing the water a little as she moans. I smile at her before I exit. In bed alone, I trace where Dr. Farley said I have bruises and such and begin to apply pressure to them, up until the point they hurt, I guess I start to doze off as Hype brushes my hand against hers. Wrapped up in her towel, her hair's damp and she's smiling at me.

"Ike," she whines crawling on top of me, "I love you more than anything else in the world." Crying franticly, I slowly take of her towel as she smiles broadly at me and I gently touch her breast.

"Hey Hype," I start as she strokes my side and roughs up my hair, "I need to tell you something."

"I need to tell you something too," she says slowly. Touching my face with gentle movements, she smiles as I run my fingers through her hair.

"You tell me what you have to say, ok?" I say, she nods.

"Two or three months ago," she breaths, "when we had that fight, I ran out and saw Oscar in the. Well, we had sex together and that was it."

"I know about the sex part, I never want us to fight like that again," I say dreamlessly.

"Well," she continues, ignoring my statement, "last month I started throwing up in the middle of the night and I went to Dr. Farley and he told me I was pregnant, with Oscar's kid. He still doesn't know and I don't know how to tell him.

"You don't," I say smoothly, "now I know this may break your heart, but when you attempted suicide, you killed the baby. It was the impact everything had on your body and all of the force went to the baby. You miscarried it Hype, I'm really sorry for that."

"Oh," she whispers, I see tears line her eyes as I wipe them away.

"Ike, how do you still love me?" she asks.

"Because you are you, and I want you to be my first love and my last kiss." I happily respond.

"I'm glad you're my first love," she mumbles, pulling the covers closer to our shoulders a bit.

"Me too sweetie," I say, solely patting her back, "me too." I kiss her forehead quickly as her eyes flutter shut and I smile and let out a moan as she shifts her weight on me. I don't know how but I eventually fall asleep with her in my arms. We've been through a lot today, but you have to fight for love sometimes and I'm glad we get to live another day together.

Hype's POV

"Ike, did I ever tell you how much I love you?" I whisper as he holds me close, leaning my head on his chest, I feel his heart beat as he rubs my back. "It's because I can't, there isn't one word strong enough that I know of that describes how much I love you." I finish. Pulling away he kisses me, giving him a cheesy smile. Leading me to the bathroom getting ready to shower together, I look forward to it as winter is approaching and that means more hot water for us. In the bathroom Ike already has the shower running, water hot enough to make the mirror already steamy and I smile at him. He comes over and undresses me as I undo his trousers and undergarments and kiss each other. Jetting the cool water and stepping in, it gets a little too hot for me as I feel it burn my skin. He reassures me as I come closer to him and lean my head back on his shoulder.

"Thanks for doing this with me," he whispers in my ear as I nod. Turning us around so my back is against the tile, he pushes me against the wall and we begin to make out, kissing my cheek neck and collarbone as I slightly finger his erection. Smiling as he glides his tongue over mine, I mimic him and we both smile. I run my hands through his wet hair and we break apart. Ike gives me a cheesy grin and I blush as he gives me the bar of soap as I begin washing myself. Rinsing, I help Ike with shaving his jaw. Slowly and gently, he smiles as he does and I nick him on accident. Surprisingly he doesn't feel it as I kiss it to make it better.

"I'm sorry I just nicked you," I saw sweetly as he waves it off. Wiping away the blood, the water seems to get warmer as I hug him. Our slick bodies together make me happy as he looks into my eyes.

"You ready?" he asks as I nod, noticing his eyes slightly change to hazel.

Ike's POV

Slowly but surely, her kisses become more semimetal as I slowly align my hips to hers and give her a small push as she lets out a small moan. Carefully touching her breast, she digs her head into me as I can tell someone's getting sleepy. Thought it kind of hurts, the hot water soothes it as it runs down my back and a piece of her hair meets where we connect. Longer in the shower, because it's wet, her hair seems to grow an extra inch as I feel its delicate touch. With two fingers, strokes from the top of my stomach to our hips as I smile; he then touches my face, messy blonde hair and where I have a slight mustache as she giggles and kisses my razor nick again.

Hype's POV

Soon, I make us move to the bed after we finish and towel off, with damp hair, I lay in bed as Ike crawls on top of me, fondling my body, he slowly injects pulling out and pushing back in with blunt force and whimsy. Making love missionary style, Ike ducts down a little and nestles his head in the crook of my neck. It hurts, but it's pleasurable to me as I cry out in satisfaction. Experimenting, he bites a little as things are getting hot and heavy. Quickly responding, I wrap my arms around his neck and coil my legs around him as this time he cries out in pleasure, ramming in and out of me.


	12. Try Me: Part 1

Hype's POV  
"Ike, I'm cold." I whimper as he clutches me closer.  
"Do you want to go back inside then?" he asks as he runs his fingers through my hair and I sit up.  
"No, it's ok, I'll just go get more blankets and maybe some hot chocolate for the both of us," I state as I walk back down stairs in the apartment and sigh, rubbing my hands together as I walk in the main room to get a few more blankets and a quilt. Boiling the water for coca, I sigh and look all around the messy apartment. In just one year I'll finally be Mrs. O'Malley, and I'll finally stop feeling bad about myself. Maybe I'll stop cutting, maybe Ike wouldn't be as much as an alcoholic anymore. Maybe I would just be dead, who knows. My thoughts are interrupted by the beeping of the microwave as I take out the water and fill two large mugs, and continue my way back up. Slowing down as I see him, Ike's in deep thought as he has his knees to his chest, a blanket around his shoulders and a wishful expression on his face, like he's waiting for something. "Hey Ike," I whisper. Turning around sharply, he sees it's me and calms down a bit. Sitting next to him, he pulls the blankets around us and we sip cocoa in silence.  
"Have you ever seen one before tonight?" he asks wishfully, gazing back up at the stars.  
"What do you mean?" I whisper.  
"Oh look real quick!" he jolts, causing my head to snap in the direction.  
"A shooting star," I smile.  
"A comet," he replies broadly.  
"When I was little, I always wished upon a shooting star I don't know, it just made me think everything would be ok." I hesitate as he kisses my forehead.  
"What did you wish for?" he states timidly.  
"Not this life," I shake my head, "I wanted a life that wasn't good nor bad it just was too whimsical. Like, I always thought I would get a pony or something when I was older."  
"When I was little, Mike and I would like to be adventures or explorers on the shores of Flushing," he sighs.  
"Oh my gosh, that sounds so official," I laugh.  
"On the shores of Flushing?" he asks cheekily as I nod, and finish the hot drink.  
"Oh look another," he points out as I smile, clutching him a little tighter.  
"Make a wish Ike," I whisper.  
"It already came true," he smiles, kissing me again as we now are both laying down, covered by the blankets. I smile broadly as I hear his heartbeat beneath his chest and his pulse. The wind sighs as I curl up to him and he breathes somewhat heavily. "Hey Hype, do you think we could, you know, maybe do it tonight?" Sitting up a little, I look at him and he looks like someone kicked a puppy in front of him. Thinking and immediately rejecting, I think the thought of being in bed together and being happy; reminiscing the nice, warm feeling.  
"Later," I mouth as he nods, laying my head back down.

"Hey Ike," I start as he holds me close in the bedroom. As we get ready to have sex, I notice Ike's eyes change color barely; nothing drastic, but just barely noticeable. Looking up at him, he caresses my back as I take a deep breath. "Do you think sometimes that just things hit you too hard at night? Like your problems or past mistakes; embarrassment and shame?" He looks at me for a second with a twinkle in his eye and breathes.  
"Sometimes, why?" he states clueless.  
"It's just that I haven't been sleeping very well and I just think it's my thoughts and…" I trail off.  
"Thinking of the past keeps me awake, thinking of the future puts me down well though because I get to see you in my dreams," he reveals. "Just think about the future and you'll be fine, promise?"  
"Promise," I whisper.  
"Good," he whispers back as we slowly strip each other. Pulling Ike's pants and boxers down, I slightly finger his erect as he gently takes my blouse and skirt off. Although light and airy, I like skirts in the winter as you can wear leggings under them. Jeans get really cold for me, especially when wet even though I wear leggings underneath. It drives me insane, but Ike doesn't mind, he just likes it that it's easier to undress me before bed. Laying him down in bed, I crawl on top of him as he smiles and gazes out the window slightly. "Good thing we came in when we did, its suppose to snow later today."  
"Really?" I ask with an excided expression, he nods.  
"I prefer the summer though, I can't do the cold." He concludes.  
"Same," I agree. With that, I push down on him a little as he lets out a slight grunt. "I love you Ike, way too much for me to leave you."  
"And Hype, I love you way too much for you to hate yourself." He answers.  
"it's just hard to take back and reject what others say to you and what you say to yourself, I mean it's good and bad." I try to explain, but to no avail. "When people say 'you were born a mistake' well, you can just not let it bother you or it can affect you in a really negative way. And sometimes it gets really complicated when you can't prove to them you are worth something."  
"Oh, I see," he nods quietly as he injects me quickly, then pulls out and I snuggle up to him even more, then we reconnect. "You know you aren't born a mistake right?" he questions, "Oscar and Morris maybe but…and Anthony."  
"No, no they are here for a reason." I state. "To build us up even more or break us down into nothing."  
"Apparently they like breaking things," he chuckles as he pets my hair and back. Caring, loving sex; I think; slow and simple, neither of us have drunk. Falling asleep in peace, I flutter my eyes over to Ike, who's already somewhat asleep and I look out the window, seeing the snowflakes stick to the window, I smile. Tonight was amazing: dinner at the harbor, a nice walk in the park and watching stars fall across the sky, topped off with hot cocoa and easy sex; now one of my favorite memories to date.

Hype's POV  
"Hey Hype," Ike asks hesitantly. "Did you cut today?" I shake my head and smile as I show him arms full of the past as he hugs me tightly. "Hype, I knew you could and I bought you something for it," he smiles, handing me expensive chocolate as I feel my eyes light up. Pulling out a box of chocolate from his back pocket, my mouth starts to fill with saliva, ready to devour it.  
"What's the catch?" I ask promptly, wanting to indulge in the candy like an animal. He looks me dead in the eye and holds my hand.  
"You have to eat a meal with me. I've already prepared it, but you have to eat everything. It's not a lot, but it's what I'd like you to have each week for when you eat." He states. I nod urging him to continue. "Dinner tonight is your favorite; by the way, Spaghetti and meatballs with fresh herbs and cheese, garlic bread and water. Then you can eat the chocolate in bed." He smiles, putting them back in his pocket.  
"When will dinner be ready?" I ask enthusiastically.  
"In about thirty minutes maybe, pasta doesn't take long to cook." He replies.  
"Then I may need one of those chocolates to keep me excited," I persuade as he obliges and hands me one as I toss it in my mouth, saving the bliss in the tiny chocolate ball and look at the inside of the wrapper as Ike directs.  
"Hype, I love you forever and always," it reads as I kiss his cheek.

"Ike, you're a really good cook," I compliment as he piles more pasta on his fork.  
"Are you getting enough?" he asks contently as I nod.  
"I'm almost finished too," I say, also scrapping the sauce from the bowl to show my enthusiasm. Washing my dish and setting it to dry, I sit back down next to Ike.  
"I'm glad you liked it," he states as I come around, kissing his cheek.  
"Do you want to share that?" I suggest, pointing to his plate. Sliding it over to me, we almost instantly catch a noddle together and smile. Swallowing, we begin to make out. Standing, Ike pushes me against the wall as I kiss his neck and cheek while he caresses my arms, even lifting my blouse a little though I don't notice as he faintly touches my breasts. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I continue to kiss him. He gently leads me into the bedroom where we strip and I flop on the bed. Crawling on top of me, he straddles across me like dirty laundry. Caressing me even more, I try to squirm away as we underestimate how much mattress is left and fall off the bed. Stopping to look at me, he smiles seductively as he brings the blankets and pillows down with us.

Ike's POV  
I walk into the bedroom, kicking off my shoes as Hype looks at herself in the mirror. Combing through her hair, I wordlessly take off my vest and fold it neatly putting it back in the dresser and take off my hat. Hype's still irresponsive as she looks at herself. I feel like I should say something, but it's eerily quiet as a small breeze combs through the window. I wonder if Hype feels the same way sometimes because I just feel empty, no emotions come to me and it's awful. I'm hungry too, but because Hype isn't eating, I don't know if I should eat in front of her or not. She sits with me at dinner as she plays on her phone, but most of the time she stares at the smallest portions on her plate, sometimes sitting for hours, then either saving the plate or heating it back up as the cycle continues again. My train of thought is wrecked as she sighs and mindlessly braids her hair quickly.  
"Hey Hype," I start. Turning to look at me, she smiles slightly then turns back to the mirror seeing my reflection in it as well.  
"Hey Ike," she says, looking at her arms real quick. Her battle scars and other various cuts. "Do you think cutting is natural?"  
"Well," I sigh, "not to some people, but either way you are still beautiful to me."  
"Really?" she pleads as I can see the sparkle in her eye. Sitting next to me on the bed, she puts her hand on my arm and looks at me, "Do you really think I'm beautiful? I mean, you tell me all the time, but I need to know if you truly mean it I just…need to know these things.  
"No Hype," I smile, "you're gorgeous."  
"Ike, do you love me for me?" she asks.  
I nod "Hype you're my entire universe, the sun in my life."  
"Ike, does it scare you that I don't eat?" she questions.  
"It defiantly concerns me," I say, taking a deep sigh.  
"Ike, how do you seem to understand me all of the time?" she asks once more.  
"Because love has no boundaries," I smile.  
"Last question," she starts, "what do you think of mirrors?"  
"Well, they can be good and bad," I start.  
"What if the only reason we can't walk through mirrors is because our reflections block us?" she jumps expectantly.  
"What if it's protecting us though?" I suggest. "What if they know the other side is horrifying and painful so they keep preventing us from crossing over?"  
"I must be on the wrong side of the mirror then," she whispers, barely audible.  
"What if you're the reflection?" I ask taking her hand and bringing it to my lips; I kiss it as I see her cheeks slightly color.  
"But then there would be another Hype and another Ike," she smiles then it drops to a frown. "But we haven't been acting like we should. Last few fights, I remember fighting in front of the mirror. What if the mirror Hype and Ike hate each other?"  
"No Hype, I'm just messing with you," I laugh as she frowns as I study her face as if to say I'll still ponder on it. Kissing her lips, I break her train of thought as she blushes again. Reassuring her she'll be ok.


	13. 2

Hype's POV  
"Ike, Ike, Ike," I moan, touching my nether regions, I lie my head against the wall. Groaning, I sigh and touch myself again, rubbing the blanket between my legs. Finally, I orgasm and give myself a break. Chilling me to the bone, I pull the blankets back over my head, plastering my face to the pillow. Shame washes over me as I still myself.  
"Hey Hype," Ike coughs, trying to hide his smile. Popping my head out of the covers, I look at him; no doubt my face is red. Covered in sweat, he comes over to the bed, sits next to me and drapes his arm around me as I wrap the blanket tighter. "Someone had a rough night last night huh?"  
"How can you still walk?" I question.  
"What?"  
"Yea, we were both drunk, you sobered up pretty quickly." I state, sitting up a little as I pull the blanket even tighter. Grazing his hand over my stomach, I have the urge to fight him a little.  
"And you apparently kept having fantasies last night huh?" he asks, lifting the blanket up a little. "What happened here?"  
"I just love you too much, but I'm just scarred because you get abusive and then I just…love you too much. I mean, it's not a bad thing but…" I start, digging my head into his chest.  
"Yea, I love you too Hype, but not enough to molest myself," he smirks, kissing me as I hit him with a pillow.  
"You do too molest," I laugh, "I usually have to wake you because you're having a wet dream."  
"I can't control what comes out of my body," he smirks.  
"Or what you touch," I finish.  
"Yea, that too," he laughs.  
"So, can we do it now?" I ask sheepishly as he stands up to unzip his pants and unbuttons his shirt. Nodding, I smile as he locks the door and slams the window shut. Taking off the rest of his clothes, he climbs into bed on top of me and smiles, caressing my hair.  
"Well Mrs. O'Malley, here we go." He starts as he lowers himself to me as I touch his face gently.  
"We aren't there, yet," I smile kissing his forehead.  
"Hype, I love you too much for you to abuse yourself," he grimaces.  
"Thanks for your concern, but I can still handle myself. I just need help sometimes, not all the time though." I state.  
"I know, I know, I just love you too much to see you in pain." He states soothingly as he injects me, pulling out a little and pushing back in. I moan lightly, biting my lip as he continues. "I love how neither of us are perfect, but when we are together we are perfect for each other. You know you mean the world to me right?"  
"Yes I do sweetie," I laugh as he shoves deeper into me.

Ike's POV  
Focusing on the pressure and penetration I give her, I try to not hurt her as her moans get louder, especially when we move slightly. Looking into her eyes, she swoons as I've hit the right spot as she lets out a satisfying moan.  
"Hype, I love it when you do stuff that's rude and so wrong," I laugh, fondling her breasts. Pulling out fully, she looks deep into my eyes and begs for more. Taking a break, I stumble into the kitchen for a glass of water, swigging it down like wine and getting more as I fill a glass for Hype. In bed, she accepts it gratefully as she finishes the drink in no time. Setting the glass down, she slurs as she looks up at me; I smile and give her a wet, sloppy kiss as we resume our work. Sliding and out of her, she moans a little more as I laugh.  
"Ike, I want you today, tomorrow and forever," she gulps as I remove some of my weight from on top of her. Now lying beside her, she smiles as I caress her nether regions, and breast. Seeing her mischievous smile for a split second, she begins grazing her little fingers over my erect. With pleading eyes, I give her a slight nod as she pulls the covers back even more and descends with an open mouth.

"Hey Hype," Ike smirks, rubbing my shoulder as I glare up at him.  
"About time you awake from your slumbers; come shun society's definition of beauty and just be yourself," He smirks as I turn over, hugging his pillow and cringing from a cramp in my side.  
"Ike, you know I hate doing that, but I can't walk as much as I'd love too." I moan.  
"Why not my lovely?" he says smoothly.  
"Because we went too hard last night," I snap.  
"We didn't go that hard," he convinces me. "We just went a little longer than the normal three to five hours. We went almost seven I think? I think I have some pretty amazing talent by the way"  
"My ass, we went the entire night and crashed at five, I remember," I state plainly.  
"Well shit then, it's almost nine o'clock, we have to get moving," he slyly smiles.  
"After four hours of sleep and really intense sex? I don't think so," I muttered.  
"One more hour of sleep Hype, okay, is that clear?" he questions.  
"Yea, yea I got it," I mumble. "Hey Ike, what else is the day bringing?"  
"Nothing if you just sleep." He sasses playfully.  
"Whatever," I groan, pulling the covers back over and slip back into sleep.

Hype's POV  
Leading me with force to find Oscar Delancey, he grips my arm even tighter, causing me to wince.  
"Ike, it's not his fault really," I plead as he leads me into an ally and pushes me against the wall and gets real close.  
"No Hype, it's his fault, it's always his fault," he "growls, taking my hand again and leading me through Central Park towards the pier as we see him, coming out of another ally. Morris probably drinking somewhere Ike stomps up to him and starts randomly yelling, letting my arm go.  
"What the fuck Oscar?" he asks irritated. Oscar looks at me bewildered and slightly smiles. "Oh, so you think this is funny? Because fucking my girlfriend was completely ok last time I remembered. If I remembered anything, you were scarred of sex." He snaps towards me.  
"Oscar wasn't being mean or anything to me…" I start, but Ike doesn't buy it as he corners Oscar.  
"You don't know who you're dealing with Ike O'Malley." Oscar says, gripping through his teeth.  
"Ike, it wasn't his fault just listen to me!" I scream at him getting in between him and Oscar.  
"Hype, stay out of this I don't want you to get hurt," Oscar states, pulling me away; before this turns into a bloody brawl I scream my head off until Ike puts me in a headlock.  
"Listen girly, if you stay out of this, things will be fine. But if you fight with us, you pick a side." He growls, letting me go. Sputtering for air, they continue yelling at each other, no way of them not fighting.  
"Guys, just stop it ok!" I scream finally. I'm pretty sure everyone within two miles can hear me, but I don't care, I just don't want them to soak the other. "You guys need to stop ok, Ike it wasn't his fault. Oscar don't you dare lay a hand on him. You just need to stop fighting and quit acting like your damn dick size!" They stop fighting and look at me immediately. "Ike, he didn't rape me ok, he was just making sure I was comfortable with you, we didn't mean to have sex but it just…happened."  
"No Hype, see that's where you guys went wrong, you could have at least stopped when you realized he wasn't me." He barks.  
"Now if we were both drunk," I snap.  
"Hype you are so dead," Ike mutters.  
"That's what I've been wanting for the past year guys." I scream, tears of anger lining my eyes. " I hate it here, I hate living in this hell of depression and the only reason I'm living right now is for you guys..." gasping for air, it hurts because I've been screaming my lungs out, they start to hug me as I can't get out of their grasp. "I hate having so many addictions and I hate feeling guilty about shit."  
"Hype, it doesn't matter what you're going though, we're here for you and we just want you to be happy." Oscar simply states. I catch Ike trying to cut him off but I just smile at him.  
"You guys just don't know me as well as I thought you did," I state. "Well, here it is; a list of things you may or not know about me." I stop and look at them for a second as for once in his life Oscar looks sympathetic. "I'm anorexic, I smoke, I drink, I always feel insecure, I cut, I've got my priorities in the wrong order, and I can't wait to get married." Stopping for a few seconds I look at Ike, who is smiling cheekily. "I wish I was more included, I'm empathetic, and I've been through a lot. I never speak my mind, I'm unusual to society, and I'm really messed up sometimes. I get distracted a lot. I'm sick of faking smiles, I can never see the bright side of things and the worst thing is: I'm suicidal." Finally stopping to catch my breath, I see Oscar out of the corner of my eyes wiping tears away. I look at Ike as he gleams at me and I smile back. It's an actually smile, genuine, authentic to me. It brings me back to what's really important to me: my love for Ike. Walking over to Oscar, I throw my arms around him.  
"I love you Oscar, you're a really good friend but Ike's my sweetheart and I've loved him ever since I saw him," I say whispering in his ear as he nods and sniffs a bit. Letting him hold onto me longer than expected, he finally lets me go. Ike's turn, I think and walk to him. Holding out his arms, I hold nothing back from him going into his protective arms. "I wish things haven't changed like they have been." I whisper as he nods and kisses my forehead causing me to blush.  
"Hype, I love you. You're beautiful and I'm always here for you. You are my first love and I want you to stay that way." He smiles. Turning around to face Oscar still in Ike's arms, he sniffs a little and smiles at us.  
"Ike, take me home," I say gently looking up at him. He nods and dismisses us to Oscar as I catch Oscar blow a kiss towards me as I blush a visible pink.

Ike's POV  
"Hey Hype," I say carefully to her, lying on the bed as she smiles at me getting ready for bed. "I think I owe you an apology. My temper just got the best of me and I am really sorry. Is there anything I can do to fix it?" She shakes her head as I duck mine. Crawling on top of her, I kiss her neck and collarbone.  
"Ike, stop it," she laughs.  
"Ah yes, the laughter of Hype, the best thing in the world," I smile as she pushes me away and repositions herself on the bed.  
"Fine you want to know how to fix it? I want to go stargazing tonight." She replies as I nod and take her hand, pulling her out of the bed, gathering as many pillows and blankets, we stomp upstairs into the chilly night air.

Hype's POV  
I smile gently as I lay my head on Ike's abdomen as I gaze upwards. Shivering as the wind sighs; I pull the blanket over me more and smile, pressing my head into Ike's chest. Tightening me in his grasp he tells me to look up and I obey. A shooting star flashes across the sky as he kisses my cheek.  
"I love you Hype," he smiles, whispering into my ear.  
"I've always loved you Ike," I say dreamily.  
"I want you today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life." He murmurs.  
"And you'll have me as long as you put up with me, no matter how much I cut, starve myself or have a tantrum," I lightly laugh as he clutches me even tighter.  
"I'll always be here for you," he smirks.  
"For once since I fell into depression, this is the happiest I've ever been." I admit.  
"I still don't know how you don't believe you're pretty. Your beautiful Hype, on the inside and out, and I love you for that," he whimpers.


	14. 3

Hype's POV  
"I... I love you Oscar," I whisper hesitantly as he glares somewhat softly at me with his steel grey eyes. "But not enough for us to do what you want."  
"Just say it Hype, there's nothing to hide," he gripes as he softly reaches for my hand.  
"Sex," I reply, barely audible.  
"Oh, ok," he states, "but I will always be here for you."  
"Thanks Oscar," I smile. Slowly walking away, he grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug, nuzzling my hair and turning me to face him as he kisses me. Kissing my neck and collarbone, I'm completely prey as he holds me up against a wall; kissing me and my beauty. He finally breaks away for a few seconds, then kissing me again. Sliding his tongue over mine, I let out a slight squeal and moan. He finally breaks and begins to undress me in the oblivious state I'm in and I gasp a little. "Oscar."  
"Yes Hype," he answers whimsically causing me to swoon a little.  
"I told you Oscar, I am not having sex with you." I scorn as he takes my hair down.  
"Hype, don't worry. It's not sex; it's called rape." He snarls sinisterly as he strips me of my skirt, blouse and undergarments hastily and pushes me back against the wall. I scream with as much intensity as I can as he repeatedly injects me. The waves of pleasure immediately hit us in the first few minutes and finally, I get woozy in my knees and oblige to him. Still screaming, but not as much. Then Ike jolts me awake.

Ike's POV  
"Hype, why are you screaming?" I scorn, wiping my eyes, then seeing tears stream down her face, she finally awakes. Looking at me, she instantly pulls me into her arms and cries harshly. When she sniffs, I seize the opportunity to ask her what happened.  
"Ike, it was awful," she whines.  
"Bad dream?" I ask quietly as she nods.  
"It was horrifying and I don't know how or why I said those things in my dreams." She jumps.  
"Realistic dreaming, I mutter," what was it about?"  
"It was dark… in an alleyway and Os- someone had…" she sobs, trying to explain everything that happened in great detail.  
"That kind of dream," I say slowly.  
"Someone had raped me." She gulps, looking into my eyes. "And that someone was Oscar."  
"Oh my poor baby," I say sympathetically, "come here, come here." She has no hesitation to lay her head on my chest as I run my fingers through her hair. Still shedding tears about her dream, I kiss her once in a while to reassure her she's safe. "So, did anything else happen in the dream I should know about?"  
"No," she sniffs, "but it is related to the dream and you may hate me for this but…"  
"Spit it out Hype," I smile, "its ok."  
"The dream was real," she hesitates, "I had sex with Oscar."  
"Rahh, Hype," I groan. "Were you even thinking? Why? Why? Why? This hurts me Hype, how could you do this to me?"  
"I didn't want to Ike, but I didn't have a choice." She pleads, "Please don't be mad."  
"No Hype, I'm not mad," I say, as she lets out a sigh of relief. "Are you fucking kidding me?! Of course I'm not mad; I'm as pissed as hell."  
"Baby no, doesn't say that," she begs.  
"We will talk about this tomorrow; now get out of this bedroom." I gripe.  
"But Ike, where will I sleep?" she cries.  
"Oh, there's this thing in the living room, called the couch," thrusting her pillow and a few blankets at her, she buries her face in the cloth and runs out. "Enjoy the rest of the night," I snap. Slamming the door shut, I crawl back in bed and turn out the light as I pull my boxers down to my knees, tucking them down to my chest and begin masturbating to the erotic nature of her dream.

Hype's POV  
Crying so much I can barely see the screen, I check the time, nearly ten in the morning, and sigh. Ike comes out of the bedroom as I get up and walk in his direction.  
"Ike, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner," I whine as he walks past me.  
"I don't want to hear about it," he states coldly.  
"But Ike, if I could just explain," I try as he shakes his head.  
"I'm sorry Hype, I'd rather not hear about you and Oscar making love; maybe I have feelings too. Maybe I don't want to hear about how he seduced you, falling under his spell."  
"Ike," I jump as he puts his hand up and turns his back on me.  
"Just don't bring it up to me now, or ever again." He snaps, walking out of the apartment, leaving me to drown in my tears.

Hype's POV  
"Hype, why the hell are you cutting?" Ike asks me as I drag the blade across my skin. He storms into the bathroom, snatching the blade from my hand, he nearly cuts us both.  
"Because everyone tells me to be happy, why, can you not see it?" I yell as I stomp towards the door.  
"Hype I" Ike starts as I turn around sharply and face him.  
"No Ike, people can't see it. I am happy with myself and I just want to be alone!" Pulling me into his arms, I easily wriggle my way out and wince, a thin layer of blood covering my arm.  
"Hype, I'm not going to let you cut anymore," he snaps, tossing the blade in the garbage.  
"Ike, putting is what makes me happy, and apparently you don't want me to." I chide.  
"Hype, I just want you to be-"  
"Don't say happy," I say with edge, putting my finger on his lips, I get on my toes and look into the fear in his eyes.  
"Hype-"he starts.  
"I'm going for a walk," I snap, brushing past him.  
"Hype." He whispers.  
"I am going for a walk," I repeated agitated. He doesn't stop me, and it's not like I don't want him too, but he's just always concerned for me. Never lets me out his sight. I throw open the door and stomp out, shoving a piece of gum in my mouth and begin to walk. No one understands for me. No one cares for me, I think. Life is just another stupid joke, and like everyone else, I fell for it and guess what. There is no punch line. Maybe I'm just pondering many things at once and then remembering that if you REALLY TRUELY think about it hard enough life is meaningless and we're all just pointless. I mean, I know I am. Everyone seems pretty damn happy for no reason. I know its depression that gets to me, but it's not my hormones, because this sadness actually has meaning and reason. It's there lying underneath my skin waiting to break out and it does when It's quiet and I'm alone. And Ike almost never leaves me alone. But that's ok. Someone still needs to make sure I'm still alive. Walking and sitting towards the edge of the pier, the water roaring beneath my feet I wonder if I should jump and not come back, it would be better for everyone that way. Except for maybe Ike, but there are other fish in the sea. It's a dark cloud hovering over me but now it's a raging hurricane. It's just escalating further. My emotions are just bottled up and now like holy shit one thing will set me off and God Damn it, it just isn't right. Seriously, like damn I don't like it and everything is just too much I feel empty inside and I can't cry because I just can't. I ache all over, and it's an emotional ache. Nothing I feel seems right or real and God Damn. Everyone tells me I'm just going through the motions of life, but what if I'm not. No one is aware of what I'm capable of. I just... I just act all day long... and I hate it. I hate fake smiling and I hate cutting. And it feels in a way sort of real, but I honestly have just felt like shit for however long it was ago when I started being anorexic. My life is just a gigantic pile of fucking shit. Every day is just living hell, I oftentimes wonder what if. What if I just didn't exist, and was just something looking down into other people's lives. Life is all a fucking joke to everyone. A gigantic joke that screamed: you are unimportant, no one cares for you, and there are other people smarter, prettier and just better than you. And like every other person struggling, I believe them. All I want to do is go home, burrow under the covers and not worry about a damn thing for twenty minutes. Curl up and dissolve into nothing like I wasn't dead. But I want to be but I can't. Just give up on life. On society, and on myself. My future is bleak but my present is bleaker, as I sit here to think my hope gets weaker.  
"Hey Hype," Ike says softly as he comes to comfort me. He sits beside me and pulls me into his protective warmth as I immediately reject him. "Why is it so hard for you to watch me cry?" His answer doesn't come immediately as I expected, but that's ok I guess. A few minutes later, he pulls me back into his arms as I burry my face in his stomach.  
"Because I love you and it hurts me to see you upset." He replies. Just then, Ike pulls out his music player, sticks an ear bud in my ear and one in his as he pulls up a song. It used to be my favorite: Penguin by Christina Perri. Ike picks me up bridal style as I cry, listening to the music; its calming melody and sweet lyrics. The song soon ends and I switch off the player and give it back to him.  
"Thanks Ike," I whisper as he sets me down in a bench in Central Park. It takes longer than five minutes to get there so we just walked in silence some of the way.  
"You have no idea how much I wanted you to hear that song again." He smiles, leaning down to kiss me as he plays with my hair.  
"Ike, I love you a lot but life is getting really hard for me," I say hesitantly.  
"I know Hype, but things will get better I promise, it may not be today or tomorrow but there is always a rainbow after a hurricane." He smiles.  
"Ike, not everyone is optimistic. I love that about you, but if you're optimistic like that all the time then you're just lying to me." I whine.  
"Hype, you're lying to yourself if you think you're worthless. Society may kill the teenager but it's just one more year until your twenty." He asserts.  
"Growing up won't make things better," I reply.  
"Suicide won't make things better," he exclaims.  
"Saying it won't make me stop thinking about it," I sighed.  
"True, but we will do something about it, Hype, I need you in my life and I promise with all my heart. I love you." He coaxes.  
"Ike, I know you're trying your hardest but I don't think there is anyone that can fully understand me." I imply.  
"Hype, there are things I don't understand, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to understand." He smiles, bopping my nose. "I will never fully understand how to cook like an expert, I don't know how to calculate the earth's mass by using an apple and a scale and I will never know how to retrieve past dreams. But I do know that all that matters is what is right in front of me, right here, right now."  
"Me," I mused.  
"Yes, you and you're the light of my life, and I never want you to burn out because I'll be left in the dark, and it's a very scary place." He sighs.  
"I agree," I say dreamily. "Hey Ike, I want to watch the clouds, can we move?"  
"Sure," he smiles as we spend the rest of the afternoon watching the clouds aimlessly roll by. They seem so empty but Hype and I both know that they may weigh millions of pounds.  
"The universe isn't as strong as everyone thinks they are, even the sky must cry." He quotes. I reach my fingers upwards as he laughs lightly. Stretching farther up, it feels like I can touch the sky.


	15. 4

Hype's POV  
I lie in bed as Ike caresses my body with his delicate touch. Sobbing into my pillow I hear him sing a soft tune and I calm down enough to hear him just barely. The words are calming as finally I arouse myself and throw myself into his chest as she soothingly draws his fingers through my hair.  
"Ike, I don't think I can do this every time I'm upset." I gasp as I pull up my sleeves to show him my cuts and scars as he gulps hardly at the sight.  
"Hype, why did you do this?" he mumbles softly as he traces the outlines of the cuts.  
"Because everyone wants me to be happy and I just. I can't keep doing it, I need a better distraction." I whine. "My life is just a total joke; an awful, terrible joke that will be remembered forever."  
"Your life's not all that bad," he mutters. "You have me."  
"Ike, can you stop complimenting yourself? This is serious to me and I just…" I trail off. "Here," I say, handing him my phone and playing 'The Dark I Know Well' from Spring Awakening. Listening to it, he ceases his brow and hands it back to me when the songs finished.  
"Hype, I didn't know it was that bad," he asserts as I shake my head.  
"Ike, you know I'm anorexic and you know I'm suicidal and now you know what I'm capable of and I don't like it." I moan, pressing my head furfur into his chest.  
"Hype, please promise me you will never do this again," he says sternly.  
"Ike, I don't think I can," I respond, breaking down as a fresh round of tears cover my face, drowning my vision. "Sometimes, I just get so sad that I completely shut down when you're not next to me. I waste hors staring Blankley at a wall and it doesn't matter what anyone says about me because in that moment."  
"Hype, no, don't think like that, you are loved by so many people and you're important to them." He starts as I cut him off.  
"Ike do you think I hate myself too much?" I whimper as he nods.  
"I think the only reason you hate yourself so much is that you gave me so much love you forgot to save some for yourself." He whispers.  
"But Ike, I wanted too, you're my entire world." I plead.  
"I know, I know." He says calmingly as he strokes my hair and we eventually slip into sleep.

Ike's POV  
"Ike, I fucking hate you! Why the hell did my parents want me, God, I hate my fucking life." Hype screams, storming her way into the apartment past me, Davey and Sketch. I quickly meet her at the door in which she slams in my face and locks as my face goes pale and I spasm as Davey puts his hand on my shoulder.  
"Dave-"I start.  
"I trust you," Sketch whispers, "go talk to her."  
"What the heck happened?" Davey asks as I moan, and hit my head against the wall.  
"Well, apparently she found out something I didn't want her too." I mumble, putting my hands on my face and wipe my eyes.  
"You kept a secret from her?" Sketch asks eyes widening as I nod slowly.  
"Well, I mean," I start as she cuts me off.  
"She hates it when you keep secrets from her; to her they are like compliments, she doesn't believe you because you always tell her nice things- so she thinks you're lying to her," she explains.  
"Well fuck," I mutter, shaking my head.  
"What did you hide from her?" Davey asks, getting cut off by Hype as she storms past us again; almost about to open the door, she looks at us with tears in her eyes as we slowly approach her.  
"It doesn't matter why or how Ike hurt me, but at the moment I feel like utter shit" she states, "now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go cut."  
"No, Hype," she whines.  
"Hyper," Davey begins.  
"I'm sorry," I mutter.  
"I'm going to go cut," she repeats, swinging the door open and shuts it as we all groan in unison. I have the urge to run out to her, but Davey and Sketch hold me back a little with their words.  
"Isaac, what," Davey starts as I give him the death stare.  
"Who the hell told you could call me Isaac?" I growl as he holds his hands up in defense.  
"Ike, he didn't mean it," she cries, keeping me under control. Coming back after a heated argument, Hype wears bandages all up her arms. Opening to door quietly, she sees Davey and I go at each other's throats for the past half hour with Sketch unable to keep us apart.

Hype's POV  
"About time you got back," Ike sneers at me, taking me by my arm and pulling me to him as I try to resist. Davey and Sketch are still here as I sniff up tears that are bound to stroll down my cheeks at any minute.  
"Ike, I don't care what happens next, but you hurt me, badly." I gripe.  
"Well, looks like I'll have to put you in time out." He grimaces, thrusting me against the wall as I stare at him in disbelief.  
"Time out?" I scream as he turns to Davey, catching him by surprise, he breathes heavily. "How old do you think I am Ike? Five? No way in hell." Grabbing me by the waist, I clench my teeth as I motion slightly for Davey and Sketch to leave as I get to be the dominate tonight; he will finally understand. Taking his hands off my hips, Dave and Bridge leave, causing Ike to look away as I undo his trousers. Possibly embarrassed or ticked at this gesture, he rips my shirt off and puts his hands down my bra. Instead of moaning, we growl like animals to each other in hate and anger. Shoving my hands down his boxers, I dig my finger nails into his dick, causing him to retaliate. Pinching my nipples, he shoves me against the wall harshly, strips off the rest of my clothing and injects before I could catch my breath. Hot and angry, he slams his pelvic muscles into me and I wince slightly, taking his shirt off.  
"Hype, I know you don't want to hear this right now, but I'll say it anyways. I love you and no one could ever fuck better than you." He whispers. Knowing love is in his heart, I see pride through his eyes as he pulls out a lot, then shoves back in all the way. Wincing from my cuts, I squeal at him and he defiantly notices, carrying me to the living room floor knowing we'd fall off the couch, he pounces on me again. Soon enough, pleasure is moving through our veins and for the first time this evening, we suppress smiles; though not of innocence, but ones of mischievousness. When Ike gets cold, it's natural for him to move around a lot, especially during sex. Doing everything he can, he briskly begins pulling out of me more, then shoving back in. Capturing his face before we begin to make out, I look deep into his eyes; his body still going as I smile weakly.  
"You want to try doing that again?" I snap as he rubs my nipples forcefully and rams into me again. Smiling, he pulls out far enough to eject as I tense my legs up quickly and he injects with all his force, in result, very loud sex. Crawling on top of me, he aligns himself up again and kisses me.  
"Hype, I know you're probably tired of hearing this, and you may not always want too, but I love you Hype, I want the best for you and I'm always willing to fuck you."  
Nodding as I hear this, I buck upwards, and so does Ike as we continue until we orgasm, then it's my turn. I'm on top now, gazing lovingly into his eyes as he slightly draws a smile.  
"Ike, I know we're probably too young to be doing this, but I love you too and there is something I've always wanted to do, and maybe I've already done it too you, but I don't know. I just want you to know that I'm doing this for you because I love you." I grimace as he keeps injecting. Soon, he pulls all the way out as I head south, fingering his penis and finally I compose myself to bring it to my mouth.  
Ike's POV  
Hype's mouth feels amazing against my penis as she sucks. Lying helplessly on the floor, I'm craving for her breasts as she mocks me with her tongue. With the both of us breathing heavily, I smirk and inject a little into her mouth as she draws back slightly, then fight it off as the liquid, as she dismisses the taste. Her mouth is soft and she makes me swoon on how she's doing it. One day I'll know, but until then, I can just enjoy what I have.

Hype's POV  
Knowing he wants my breasts, I suck even harder as I run my fingers through his pubic hair as my fingers to a light tap dance on his testicles, he moans loudly and I flush my mouth of saliva several times. Still breathing heavily, I can't take it anymore and pull his penis out fully as I begin to lick it like a lollipop. Hearing him groan, I know he is now desperate for wanting to feel my breasts but I don't care. It's my time to shine and he knows it. Working so hard, I cause him to orgasm again as I know for him its heaven. I stop fully as his breaths are jagged and I crawl back up to him. Immediately, he flips me over and starts handling my chest.  
"Oh hey, uhm Bridget and Davey left, when did this happen?" he asks in a haze, I look at him and kiss his cheek.  
"They left before we started fucking," I reply smoothly.  
"Well, thank God for that," he smiles fakley, barring his teeth.  
"So, what were you so mad about earlier?" he asks as he grazes my fingers smoothly down my back.  
"I'm not mad about it now," I start, curling up to him I continue. "I was mad though when I found your porn stash under the bed with pictures of me and Bridget. Why was she even in there?"  
"It's Davey's too," he sighs, petting my hair.  
"I also found a bunch of sex tapes of us and Davey and Sketch- why do you even have those on your laptop? They serve no purpose anyways." I continue as Ike has fear in his eyes.  
"There for when you're away so I can thank God I'm with such a lovely woman," he smiles, petting my hair as I sit up a little.  
"Then do you just love me for my body?" I whimper as he shakes his head. "Does Bridget know she's even in your guy's porn stash? Do you like watching her and Dave going at it like jackrabbits because of her figure too; because she's better at sex? All those pictures were of us Ike; I never saw a male genital unless it was in a tape."  
"No, Hype," he objects, trying to touch me as I pull away.  
"Forget it Ike, why did I bring it up," I whisper as I slowly stand and walk to the bedroom as he follows in a toe. I turn to face him before shutting the door. "Why do I love someone that lusts over me? Because I know I can never leave them." I ask, and answer as he tries to block me, shutting the door. Locking it temporarily, I go to his side of the bed and pull out the offending box of pictures, battling with myself if I should tell Bridget about it. She should know, but I don't want to hurt her. Ike and Davey probably have a million more pictures of us on their laptops used to black mail us and I have no doubt that's what they will do in the future. Pulling out the box, I see a dozen pictures of my breast and nether regions. When did Ike take all of these? I whimper to myself, going through the box, I find naked pictures of Bridget and me either sleeping or doing inappropriate things. Seeing Ike had a few pictures developed today, I open the pack up containing some fifty pictures and I tense up.  
. Davey recently had pictures too, they were drunk during their affairs last night and you could tell. I swear to myself that I'll never look at these again or lust over them as I pull out the pictures. Some are more innocent than others as I lay one of Bridget naked next to one of a close up of their connection. Either they have a really small room, good cameras that are small, or multiple ones. Maybe she knows about it, but Dave somehow convinced her they weren't working. Maybe it's just a part of a little naughty game to destroy them in the future.  
Feeling betrayed I clutch my breast as I stick one of the many thumb drives into my laptop and I open up the files. Bridget's prom pictures, her before and after pictures and a document of their first time having sex after prom. Wanting and fighting the urge to kill myself I open up the word processor, I'm happy that it's not an actual video, but Davey's account on what took place that night three years ago.


	16. 5

Laughing at the diction, I don't realize I'm masturbating as I read. Oh my god this bring back too many memories- I can't even remember what Tigers was the safe word for, though Bridget told me about a billion times before.  
"Hey Hype," Ike cuts in as I silently laugh to myself. Quickly shoving the box back under the bed with the thumb drive, I close my laptop and meet him at the door half sentence. I realize as he stops talking and motions to me and my eyes widen- I'm still naked.  
"One second," I motion as he nods, scampering to get dressed as I reopen the door and he smiles. Slightly frowning, he looks at me for a second to take me in and kisses me. Putting his hands on my hips, I return the favor, sliding my mouth over his. Breaking away, I feel my cheeks hot as he tears up a little.  
"Hey Hype, I'm sorry for stashing porn about you. I know it's wrong, but it just…makes me feel good. Davey's stash is mixed in with mine, well because Bridget would break up with him if she ever found out. Divorce him I mean, by now anyways.  
"It doesn't matter now babe," I smile, putting my hand on his face. "I still love you and I'm sorry for all the things I said earlier, I was just really upset and I felt betrayed and…"  
"It is perfectly ok sweetie," he says soothingly, "we're still together and…how are your cuts? I didn't hurt them too bad didn't I? I'm so…"  
"Ike, I lied," I didn't cut; I never had for the past month because you give me strength. I was just testing you to see if you would chase after me, and you know I hate that and it's a good thing. Look, all I did was draw over myself with red sharpie, and it must have blended with the salt water making it look like I was bleeding, so I put a bandage all across my arms so people think I did cut. Manhattan knows me Ike, almost everyone here knows my story and in some ways it's good and in some ways it's not. But we have to keep living life. Not all of us are the same, yes society is a bitch, yes we have our fights, but we're a family and families have their feuds.  
"It doesn't matter," he whines, "I should have never made you think you were worthless to me in that way and I never want to betray you because I just plain love you."  
"Happy wife, happy life?" I smirk as he chuckles, taking me in his arms.  
"Yea, happy wife, happy life." He responds, "and it also is true for society, whatever publicity says, women can make a difference, so just ignore all of the slander, satire and hate that's being thrown around, and don't forget: boys self-harm, boys purge and boys commits suicide- it's not just the girls."  
"Ike did you," I start, lifting his sleeve to see one sliver on skin different than the rest. "Ike, you, you, you cut?" Bewildered, I start to cry  
"It was just once," he grimaces.  
"No Ike, it's not," I sob, tears streaming down my face. "It's addictive and I don't want you to suffer what I'm going through."  
"Hype, its ok, I swear I won't cut anymore." He whispers as he hugs me. "But you have to promise me one thing." Breaking away, I look deeply into his eyes.  
"I'll do it for you," I smile meekly.  
"I never want to see your cuts ever again." He states as I nod, and hug him once again, digging my head into his chest.  
"I love you Hype," he smiles.  
"Forever and always?"  
"Forever and always."

Hype's POV  
"I cannot believe I just did that," I moan, licking my lips as he clutches me closer.  
"Why not?" he smirks, lightly fondling my breasts; glaring at him, I roll my eyes playfully.  
"I just pick my mouth on your dick," I say.  
"And you didn't like ducking it?" he laughs as we reminisce the memory of this session and we smile. Bathing in slight embarrassment- the memory of the rough, cathartic sex we just had loom over us. I kiss his smirking jaw as he rubs his hands through my breasts and I moan…  
"Hey Hype," Ike smirks, rubbing my shoulder as I glare up at him.  
"About time you awake from your slumbers; come shun society's definition of beauty and just be yourself," He smirks as I turn over, hugging his pillow and cringing from a cramp in my side.  
"Ike, you know I hate doing that, but I can't walk as much as I'd love too." I moan.  
"Why not my lovely?" he says smoothly.  
"Because we went too hard last night," I snap.  
"We didn't go that hard," he convinces. "We just went a little longer than the normal three to five hours. We went almost eight for the fifth time this week," he smiles as I slightly glare at him.  
"Do you think it's enough to have a child?" I ask weekly as he smiles at me. "I know we haven't really talked about it much because we already have a billion other problems but…."  
"Well, we just have to try our luck," he smirks as we head to take our shower together. Turning on the water, he turns around and hugs me passionately. Undoing my bra, I unbutton his shirt, taking it off as we slip off the rest of our clothes. Undoing my hair, I step in with him as we wash ourselves, scrubbing each other down. Ike, who seems to be getting a little friskier by the minute, and pats my bottom several times as I playfully glare at him. "Your call."  
"Whatever, "I laugh as we look at each other seductively and get the same idea. Ike turns around and turns off the water as we laugh and towel off quickly, moving to the bed. Crawling on top of me, he doesn't even let me catch my breath as he deeply injects. Caressing my breasts, he pillows his head on one and caresses the other as I lean my head back on the wall. Crying out in pleasure, he pulls out a little and shoves back in as I tense up my legs, the penetration becoming even more desirable as we both moan.

Hype's POV  
Awaking to find Ike's head on my breast I moan a little causing him to stir a wake.  
"Good morning Hype," he yawns, rolling over and going back to sleep.  
"Morning Ike," I whisper, running my fingers through his curly blonde hair. Knowing he's asleep again, he begins to snore slightly and I moan again. My breasts are really sore and I start to feel an ache all over. Ike stirs a little and the aches come and go, no way I'm going back to sleep. Something tells me we're still connected as he moves the slightest, causing me to suppress a moan. After a few more hours in bed, Ike fully awakes as I get up to take a shower.  
"Can I join you?" he asks.  
"No," I shake my head, "I just need to be alone for a little bit." He nods as I walk into the bathroom, close the door and turn on the water. Stepping inside, I wash my hair and everything else as I start to cry. This isn't fair, I think. Sex never hurts him, it just bring his pleasure. I know it's supposed to be that way but for me it just aches so bad and yet it feels so good. Like wearing high heels, they hurt me, but I wear them anyways. Getting out, I feel my breasts again and they're a little less sore, then I touch my nether regions. Suppressing moans, I can tell we went really hard last night, but we didn't. We just took it slow and easy; lasting hours and hours. Even when I woke up and the extra two hours Ike was asleep, I knew we were still connected. Stepping out, I reach for a towel, wrap myself in it and wipe away my tears. Opening the door, I hear something vaguely familiar as Ike's watching something on his laptop screen. Taking a quick look, I go pale and I realize it's us. "Hey Ike," I start as he turns around and grins at me. Still naked, I can somewhat tell he had masturbated by watching whatever was on the screen and he whimpers; brushing past me to take his shower. Getting my headphones, I open up his laptop and watch the film. His password is so easy though: iloveHype. It's special, but it's so easy to guess. Starting from the beginning, I realize it is us, having sex from last night. I gasp loudly and turn away to find the tiny camera as I hear our voices. Obliging to myself, I watch the video.  
"I love you forever and always, Hype," Ike states lovingly, taking my hands and putting them to his face.  
"Forever and always, Ike, forever and always," I smile as he kisses me, my neck and collarbone. We both strip each other; last but not least underwear as he takes my hand and slowly dips it into his boxer and I know what it means. Feeling his dick, I remove his undergarments with one hand as I make him sit on the edge of the bed, and start working my mouth below the beltline. Descending on his erect, my mouth slowly fills with saliva as I rub his penis wet and we both moan. Biting a little, he rubs his hands through my hair and I begin sucking the flesh like a baby bottle. Feeling wracked with guilt and embarrassment, I slowly take his dick out of my mouth, but use my hand to keep it up. How much footage did the camera get? I think. We weren't even drunk and yet I was sucking his fucking dick. I begin masturbating, but stop as I pause the film, and close the laptop quickly, jumping as Ike comes out of the bathroom.  
"How much did you see?" he asks quietly as I look up at him and bite my lip.  
"Uhm, I got to the part where I was sucking your penis." I whisper as he sighs loudly. I wait silently for the 'Hype, don't you know anything about privacy? And Hype could you get off my laptop, you have one too and Hype…"  
"Pretty nasty isn't it?" he starts as I just shrug my shoulders. "I can delete it if you want me too."  
"C-can we at least watch the rest of it?" I ask slowly as he sighs and obliges.  
"Camera shut off three hours into it, and so did our brains apparently," he jokes I as I kiss him with my dirty mouth, sliding my tongue over his as he sits next to me and we start from the beginning. In some parts, we were frisky with one another and sometimes we were at ease. Most of the time though, it was smooth and easy-and I'm not afraid to say I liked it. Using my peripheral vision, I see Ike's red most of the time as I make him turn an even brighter shade while massaging his erect while watching. Not being able to take it anymore, he gets up and stands behind me as he fingers my tingling breasts, kissing my cheek every so often. Soon in the video Ike orgasms and I follow a few minutes later.  
"Unprotected sex," I whisper, "is my favorite."  
"Yea, I hate wearing condoms. Sex is when you need to be one hundred percent you with your partner and wearing a condom just changes all of that." He states. "It's rubber and tightly wrapped around my penis, but it only makes a difference as I inject semen into you."  
"I hate it too, it just ruins the effects of force, whimsy and magic and all we worry about when you're wearing one is: will it rip because of too much friction." I sigh. The film cuts off and I close his laptop and look at him.  
"I love you, Hype, forever and always." He states as I place my hands on his face and kiss him passionately.  
"I love you too Ike," I smile, pulling away. Becoming increasingly tired, we fall back into bed naked. My hair is still damp, but I don't care as I snuggle up to him, my knees tucked to my chest. He begins tracing my figure as I clutch my breasts; noticing this, he takes my hands away; breaking down the barriers as he softly touches them as they tingle slightly. His touching becomes increasingly naughtier as me massages my nether regions, kissing me as a distraction. Using this to my advantage, I rub what's between his legs as I cause him to moan. Rubbing so fiercely, in a few minutes as I make him orgasm, laughing with delight. I look at him as he shakes his head and inserted two fingers into me and pulls out slowly, curling his fingers as I moan loudly.  
"What are we doing Hype?" he laughs after a while.  
"Loving each other," I respond as he kisses me. Getting dressed, we walk and meet up with Bridget and Davey, bonding with walks in the park, smiling and laughing as a sly smile Ike hides from me beckons to reminisce about this morning.


	17. 6

Hype's POV  
"Ike, Ike, Ike," I moan, touching my nether regions, I lie my head against the wall. Groaning, I sigh and touch myself again, rubbing the blanket between my legs. Finally, I orgasm and give myself a break. Chilling me to the bone, I pull the blankets back over my head, plastering my face to the pillow. Shame washes over me as I still myself.  
"Hey Hype," Ike coughs, trying to hide his smile. Popping my head out of the covers, I look at him; no doubt my face is red. Covered in sweat, he comes over to the bed, sits next to me and drapes his arm around me as I wrap the blanket tighter. "Someone had a rough night last night huh?"  
"How can you still walk?" I question.  
"What?"  
"Yea, we were both drunk, you sobered up pretty quickly." I state, sitting up a little as I pull the blanket even tighter. Grazing his hand over my stomach, I have the urge to fight him a little.  
"And you apparently kept having fantasies last night huh?" he asks, lifting the blanket up a little. "What happened here?"  
"I just love you too much, but I'm just scarred because you get abusive and then I just…love you too much. I mean, it's not a bad thing but…" I start, digging my head into his chest.  
"Yea, I love you too Hype, but not enough to molest myself," he smirks, kissing me as I hit him with a pillow.  
"You do too molest," I laugh, "I usually have to wake you because you're having a wet dream."  
"I can't control what comes out of my body," he smirks.  
"Or what you touch," I finish.  
"Yea, that too," he laughs.  
"So, can we do it now?" I ask sheepishly as he stands up to unzip his pants and unbuttons his shirt. Nodding, I smile as he locks the door and slams the window shut. Taking off the rest of his clothes, he climbs into bed on top of me and smiles, caressing my hair.  
"Well Mrs. O'Malley, here we go." He starts as he lowers himself to me as I touch his face gently.  
"We aren't there, yet," I smile kissing his forehead.  
"Hype, I love you too much for you to abuse yourself," he grimaces.  
"Thanks for your concern, but I can still handle myself. I just need help sometimes, not all the time though." I state.  
"I know, I know, I just love you too much to see you in pain." He states soothingly as he injects me, pulling out a little and pushing back in. I moan lightly, biting my lip as he continues. "I love how neither of us are perfect, but when we are together we are perfect for each other. You know you mean the world to me right?"  
"Yes I do sweetie," I laugh as he shoves deeper into me.

Ike's POV  
Focusing on the pressure and penetration I give her, I try to not hurt her as her moans get louder, especially when we move slightly. Looking into her eyes, she swoons as I've hit the right spot as she lets out a satisfying moan.  
"Hype, I love it when you do stuff that's rude and so wrong," I laugh, fondling her breasts. Pulling out fully, she looks deep into my eyes and begs for more. Taking a break, I stumble into the kitchen for a glass of water, swigging it down like wine and getting more as I fill a glass for Hype. In bed, she accepts it gratefully as she finishes the drink in no time. Setting the glass down, she slurs as she looks up at me; I smile and give her a wet, sloppy kiss as we resume our work. Sliding and out of her, she moans a little more as I laugh.  
"Ike, I want you today, tomorrow and forever," she gulps as I remove some of my weight from on top of her. Now lying beside her, she smiles as I caress her nether regions, and breast. Seeing her mischievous smile for a split second, she begins grazing her little fingers over my erect. With pleading eyes, I give her a slight nod as she pulls the covers back even more and descends with an open mouth.

"Hey Hype," Ike smirks, rubbing my shoulder as I glare up at him.  
"About time you awake from your slumbers; come shun society's definition of beauty and just be yourself," He smirks as I turn over, hugging his pillow and cringing from a cramp in my side.  
"Ike, you know I hate doing that, but I can't walk as much as I'd love too." I moan.  
"Why not my lovely?" he says smoothly.  
"Because we went too hard last night," I snap.  
"We didn't go that hard," he convinces me. "We just went a little longer than the normal three to five hours. We went almost seven I think? I think I have some pretty amazing talent by the way"  
"My ass, we went the entire night and crashed at five, I remember," I state plainly.  
"Well shit then, it's almost nine o'clock, we have to get moving," he slyly smiles.  
"After four hours of sleep and really intense sex? I don't think so," I muttered.  
"One more hour of sleep Hype, okay, is that clear?" he questions.  
"Yea, yea I got it," I mumble. "Hey Ike, what else is the day bringing?"  
"Nothing if you just sleep." He sasses playfully.  
"Whatever," I groan, pulling the covers back over and slip back into sleep.

Hype's POV  
Leading me with force to find Oscar Delancey, he grips my arm even tighter, causing me to wince.  
"Ike, it's not his fault really," I plead as he leads me into an ally and pushes me against the wall and gets real close.  
"No Hype, it's his fault, it's always his fault," he "growls, taking my hand again and leading me through Central Park towards the pier as we see him, coming out of another ally. Morris probably drinking somewhere Ike stomps up to him and starts randomly yelling, letting my arm go.  
"What the fuck Oscar?" he asks irritated. Oscar looks at me bewildered and slightly smiles. "Oh, so you think this is funny? Because fucking my girlfriend was completely ok last time I remembered. If I remembered anything, you were scarred of sex." He snaps towards me.  
"Oscar wasn't being mean or anything to me…" I start, but Ike doesn't buy it as he corners Oscar.  
"You don't know who you're dealing with Ike O'Malley." Oscar says, gripping through his teeth.  
"Ike, it wasn't his fault just listen to me!" I scream at him getting in between him and Oscar.  
"Hype, stay out of this I don't want you to get hurt," Oscar states, pulling me away; before this turns into a bloody brawl I scream my head off until Ike puts me in a headlock.  
"Listen girly, if you stay out of this, things will be fine. But if you fight with us, you pick a side." He growls, letting me go. Sputtering for air, they continue yelling at each other, no way of them not fighting.  
"Guys, just stop it ok!" I scream finally. I'm pretty sure everyone within two miles can hear me, but I don't care, I just don't want them to soak the other. "You guys need to stop ok, Ike it wasn't his fault. Oscar don't you dare lay a hand on him. You just need to stop fighting and quit acting like your damn dick size!" They stop fighting and look at me immediately. "Ike, he didn't rape me ok, he was just making sure I was comfortable with you, we didn't mean to have sex but it just…happened."  
"No Hype, see that's where you guys went wrong, you could have at least stopped when you realized he wasn't me." He barks.  
"Now if we were both drunk," I snap.  
"Hype you are so dead," Ike mutters.  
"That's what I've been wanting for the past year guys." I scream, tears of anger lining my eyes. " I hate it here, I hate living in this hell of depression and the only reason I'm living right now is for you guys..." gasping for air, it hurts because I've been screaming my lungs out, they start to hug me as I can't get out of their grasp. "I hate having so many addictions and I hate feeling guilty about shit."  
"Hype, it doesn't matter what you're going though, we're here for you and we just want you to be happy." Oscar simply states. I catch Ike trying to cut him off but I just smile at him.  
"You guys just don't know me as well as I thought you did," I state. "Well, here it is; a list of things you may or not know about me." I stop and look at them for a second as for once in his life Oscar looks sympathetic. "I'm anorexic, I smoke, I drink, I always feel insecure, I cut, I've got my priorities in the wrong order, and I can't wait to get married." Stopping for a few seconds I look at Ike, who is smiling cheekily. "I wish I was more included, I'm empathetic, and I've been through a lot. I never speak my mind, I'm unusual to society, and I'm really messed up sometimes. I get distracted a lot. I'm sick of faking smiles, I can never see the bright side of things and the worst thing is: I'm suicidal." Finally stopping to catch my breath, I see Oscar out of the corner of my eyes wiping tears away. I look at Ike as he gleams at me and I smile back. It's an actually smile, genuine, authentic to me. It brings me back to what's really important to me: my love for Ike. Walking over to Oscar, I throw my arms around him.  
"I love you Oscar, you're a really good friend but Ike's my sweetheart and I've loved him ever since I saw him," I say whispering in his ear as he nods and sniffs a bit. Letting him hold onto me longer than expected, he finally lets me go. Ike's turn, I think and walk to him. Holding out his arms, I hold nothing back from him going into his protective arms. "I wish things haven't changed like they have been." I whisper as he nods and kisses my forehead causing me to blush.  
"Hype, I love you. You're beautiful and I'm always here for you. You are my first love and I want you to stay that way." He smiles. Turning around to face Oscar still in Ike's arms, he sniffs a little and smiles at us.  
"Ike, take me home," I say gently looking up at him. He nods and dismisses us to Oscar as I catch Oscar blow a kiss towards me as I blush a visible pink.

Ike's POV  
"Hey Hype," I say carefully to her, lying on the bed as she smiles at me getting ready for bed. "I think I owe you an apology. My temper just got the best of me and I am really sorry. Is there anything I can do to fix it?" She shakes her head as I duck mine. Crawling on top of her, I kiss her neck and collarbone.  
"Ike, stop it," she laughs.  
"Ah yes, the laughter of Hype, the best thing in the world," I smile as she pushes me away and repositions herself on the bed.  
"Fine you want to know how to fix it? I want to go stargazing tonight." She replies as I nod and take her hand, pulling her out of the bed, gathering as many pillows and blankets, we stomp upstairs into the chilly night air.

Hype's POV  
I smile gently as I lay my head on Ike's abdomen as I gaze upwards. Shivering as the wind sighs; I pull the blanket over me more and smile, pressing my head into Ike's chest. Tightening me in his grasp he tells me to look up and I obey. A shooting star flashes across the sky as he kisses my cheek.  
"I love you Hype," he smiles, whispering into my ear.  
"I've always loved you Ike," I say dreamily.  
"I want you today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life." He murmurs.  
"And you'll have me as long as you put up with me, no matter how much I cut, starve myself or have a tantrum," I lightly laugh as he clutches me even tighter.  
"I'll always be here for you," he smirks.  
"For once since I fell into depression, this is the happiest I've ever been." I admit.  
"I still don't know how you don't believe you're pretty. Your beautiful Hype, on the inside and out, and I love you for that," he whimpers.


	18. 7

Hype's POV  
"I... I love you Oscar," I whisper hesitantly as he glares somewhat softly at me with his steel grey eyes. "But not enough for us to do what you want."  
"Just say it Hype, there's nothing to hide," he gripes as he softly reaches for my hand.  
"Sex," I reply, barely audible.  
"Oh, ok," he states, "but I will always be here for you."  
"Thanks Oscar," I smile. Slowly walking away, he grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug, nuzzling my hair and turning me to face him as he kisses me. Kissing my neck and collarbone, I'm completely prey as he holds me up against a wall; kissing me and my beauty. He finally breaks away for a few seconds, then kissing me again. Sliding his tongue over mine, I let out a slight squeal and moan. He finally breaks and begins to undress me in the oblivious state I'm in and I gasp a little. "Oscar."  
"Yes Hype," he answers whimsically causing me to swoon a little.  
"I told you Oscar, I am not having sex with you." I scorn as he takes my hair down.  
"Hype, don't worry. It's not sex; it's called rape." He snarls sinisterly as he strips me of my skirt, blouse and undergarments hastily and pushes me back against the wall. I scream with as much intensity as I can as he repeatedly injects me. The waves of pleasure immediately hit us in the first few minutes and finally, I get woozy in my knees and oblige to him. Still screaming, but not as much. Then Ike jolts me awake.

Ike's POV  
"Hype, why are you screaming?" I scorn, wiping my eyes, then seeing tears stream down her face, she finally awakes. Looking at me, she instantly pulls me into her arms and cries harshly. When she sniffs, I seize the opportunity to ask her what happened.  
"Ike, it was awful," she whines.  
"Bad dream?" I ask quietly as she nods.  
"It was horrifying and I don't know how or why I said those things in my dreams." She jumps.  
"Realistic dreaming, I mutter," what was it about?"  
"It was dark… in an alleyway and Os- someone had…" she sobs, trying to explain everything that happened in great detail.  
"That kind of dream," I say slowly.  
"Someone had raped me." She gulps, looking into my eyes. "And that someone was Oscar."  
"Oh my poor baby," I say sympathetically, "come here, come here." She has no hesitation to lay her head on my chest as I run my fingers through her hair. Still shedding tears about her dream, I kiss her once in a while to reassure her she's safe. "So, did anything else happen in the dream I should know about?"  
"No," she sniffs, "but it is related to the dream and you may hate me for this but…"  
"Spit it out Hype," I smile, "its ok."  
"The dream was real," she hesitates, "I had sex with Oscar."  
"Rahh, Hype," I groan. "Were you even thinking? Why? Why? Why? This hurts me Hype, how could you do this to me?"  
"I didn't want to Ike, but I didn't have a choice." She pleads, "Please don't be mad."  
"No Hype, I'm not mad," I say, as she lets out a sigh of relief. "Are you fucking kidding me?! Of course I'm not mad; I'm as pissed as hell."  
"Baby no, doesn't say that," she begs.  
"We will talk about this tomorrow; now get out of this bedroom." I gripe.  
"But Ike, where will I sleep?" she cries.  
"Oh, there's this thing in the living room, called the couch," thrusting her pillow and a few blankets at her, she buries her face in the cloth and runs out. "Enjoy the rest of the night," I snap. Slamming the door shut, I crawl back in bed and turn out the light as I pull my boxers down to my knees, tucking them down to my chest and begin masturbating to the erotic nature of her dream.

Hype's POV  
Crying so much I can barely see the screen, I check the time, nearly ten in the morning, and sigh. Ike comes out of the bedroom as I get up and walk in his direction.  
"Ike, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner," I whine as he walks past me.  
"I don't want to hear about it," he states coldly.  
"But Ike, if I could just explain," I try as he shakes his head.  
"I'm sorry Hype, I'd rather not hear about you and Oscar making love; maybe I have feelings too. Maybe I don't want to hear about how he seduced you, falling under his spell."  
"Ike," I jump as he puts his hand up and turns his back on me.  
"Just don't bring it up to me now, or ever again." He snaps, walking out of the apartment, leaving me to drown in my tears.

Hype's POV  
"Hype, why the hell are you cutting?" Ike asks me as I drag the blade across my skin. He storms into the bathroom, snatching the blade from my hand, he nearly cuts us both.  
"Because everyone tells me to be happy, why, can you not see it?" I yell as I stomp towards the door.  
"Hype I" Ike starts as I turn around sharply and face him.  
"No Ike, people can't see it. I am happy with myself and I just want to be alone!" Pulling me into his arms, I easily wriggle my way out and wince, a thin layer of blood covering my arm.  
"Hype, I'm not going to let you cut anymore," he snaps, tossing the blade in the garbage.  
"Ike, putting is what makes me happy, and apparently you don't want me to." I chide.  
"Hype, I just want you to be-"  
"Don't say happy," I say with edge, putting my finger on his lips, I get on my toes and look into the fear in his eyes.  
"Hype-"he starts.  
"I'm going for a walk," I snap, brushing past him.  
"Hype." He whispers.  
"I am going for a walk," I repeated agitated. He doesn't stop me, and it's not like I don't want him too, but he's just always concerned for me. Never lets me out his sight. I throw open the door and stomp out, shoving a piece of gum in my mouth and begin to walk. No one understands for me. No one cares for me, I think. Life is just another stupid joke, and like everyone else, I fell for it and guess what. There is no punch line. Maybe I'm just pondering many things at once and then remembering that if you REALLY TRUELY think about it hard enough life is meaningless and we're all just pointless. I mean, I know I am. Everyone seems pretty damn happy for no reason. I know its depression that gets to me, but it's not my hormones, because this sadness actually has meaning and reason. It's there lying underneath my skin waiting to break out and it does when It's quiet and I'm alone. And Ike almost never leaves me alone. But that's ok. Someone still needs to make sure I'm still alive. Walking and sitting towards the edge of the pier, the water roaring beneath my feet I wonder if I should jump and not come back, it would be better for everyone that way. Except for maybe Ike, but there are other fish in the sea. It's a dark cloud hovering over me but now it's a raging hurricane. It's just escalating further. My emotions are just bottled up and now like holy shit one thing will set me off and God Damn it, it just isn't right. Seriously, like damn I don't like it and everything is just too much I feel empty inside and I can't cry because I just can't. I ache all over, and it's an emotional ache. Nothing I feel seems right or real and God Damn. Everyone tells me I'm just going through the motions of life, but what if I'm not. No one is aware of what I'm capable of. I just... I just act all day long... and I hate it. I hate fake smiling and I hate cutting. And it feels in a way sort of real, but I honestly have just felt like shit for however long it was ago when I started being anorexic. My life is just a gigantic pile of fucking shit. Every day is just living hell, I oftentimes wonder what if. What if I just didn't exist, and was just something looking down into other people's lives. Life is all a fucking joke to everyone. A gigantic joke that screamed: you are unimportant, no one cares for you, and there are other people smarter, prettier and just better than you. And like every other person struggling, I believe them. All I want to do is go home, burrow under the covers and not worry about a damn thing for twenty minutes. Curl up and dissolve into nothing like I wasn't dead. But I want to be but I can't. Just give up on life. On society, and on myself. My future is bleak but my present is bleaker, as I sit here to think my hope gets weaker.  
"Hey Hype," Ike says softly as he comes to comfort me. He sits beside me and pulls me into his protective warmth as I immediately reject him. "Why is it so hard for you to watch me cry?" His answer doesn't come immediately as I expected, but that's ok I guess. A few minutes later, he pulls me back into his arms as I burry my face in his stomach.  
"Because I love you and it hurts me to see you upset." He replies. Just then, Ike pulls out his music player, sticks an ear bud in my ear and one in his as he pulls up a song. It used to be my favorite: Penguin by Christina Perri. Ike picks me up bridal style as I cry, listening to the music; its calming melody and sweet lyrics. The song soon ends and I switch off the player and give it back to him.  
"Thanks Ike," I whisper as he sets me down in a bench in Central Park. It takes longer than five minutes to get there so we just walked in silence some of the way.  
"You have no idea how much I wanted you to hear that song again." He smiles, leaning down to kiss me as he plays with my hair.  
"Ike, I love you a lot but life is getting really hard for me," I say hesitantly.  
"I know Hype, but things will get better I promise, it may not be today or tomorrow but there is always a rainbow after a hurricane." He smiles.  
"Ike, not everyone is optimistic. I love that about you, but if you're optimistic like that all the time then you're just lying to me." I whine.  
"Hype, you're lying to yourself if you think you're worthless. Society may kill the teenager but it's just one more year until your twenty." He asserts.  
"Growing up won't make things better," I reply.  
"Suicide won't make things better," he exclaims.  
"Saying it won't make me stop thinking about it," I sighed.  
"True, but we will do something about it, Hype, I need you in my life and I promise with all my heart. I love you." He coaxes.  
"Ike, I know you're trying your hardest but I don't think there is anyone that can fully understand me." I imply.  
"Hype, there are things I don't understand, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to understand." He smiles, bopping my nose. "I will never fully understand how to cook like an expert, I don't know how to calculate the earth's mass by using an apple and a scale and I will never know how to retrieve past dreams. But I do know that all that matters is what is right in front of me, right here, right now."  
"Me," I mused.  
"Yes, you and you're the light of my life, and I never want you to burn out because I'll be left in the dark, and it's a very scary place." He sighs.  
"I agree," I say dreamily. "Hey Ike, I want to watch the clouds, can we move?"  
"Sure," he smiles as we spend the rest of the afternoon watching the clouds aimlessly roll by. They seem so empty but Hype and I both know that they may weigh millions of pounds.  
"The universe isn't as strong as everyone thinks they are, even the sky must cry." He quotes. I reach my fingers upwards as he laughs lightly. Stretching farther up, it feels like I can touch the sky.


	19. Ending of Try Me

Hype's POV  
"Come on Ike, you can do it," I chant as he suppresses a smile, then moans loudly. Disconnecting, he looks at me and cocks his head to the side.  
"Sorry my dear." He winces, touching his pelvic muscles.  
"You should be," I joke. "Now it's my time to orgasm."  
"you mean…" he starts as I nod, grimacing, the cycle begins again as he starts kissing me, rubbing his hands all over my chest and I gasp, feeling his penis against my thigh. Soon enough, he lets me breathe as he lines himself up and outs his hands on my chest. Apparently now, there a turn on for him during sex, he gets to touch my breasts and shamefully, I have no problem with it. Ramming in and out of me for hours on end, I buck upwards causing both of us to moan. Finally having an orgasm, we pull away and smirk at each other. An oily slickness covers his dick as I finger it slightly. Smiling mischievously, I lie him down on his back, move downward a little and place his penis in my mouth; gushing with hot liquid, I pull away a little, wipe it off with my hand, and then descend back down. Jumping on each other like jackrabbits, he moans louder as I stop, and come into his field of vision. "My turn."  
"Good luck," I whisper as he makes me lie on my back, going slowly, he caresses my hips and touches my nether regions, his penis slightly dipping into me as he fingers my breast. Panting heavily, he pillows his head one, kisses is and begins sucking the nipple as he fingers the other one, pinching it slightly.  
"Hype," he moans as I pant.  
"Yes Ike?" I moan as he disconnects and crawls to his side of the bed.  
"Hyper, Hype how do you think this is love if it just feels slimy and well, disgusting?" he asks as I try my hardest to recuperate.  
"It's all connected the way we love each other right now, with all of our hearts," I pant, and gulp down most likely saliva mixed with semen, and I shudder. "For the rest of it, can we just take it slow? I mean, we're in the already halfway into the second hour and I'm so close to passing out and we both agreed that we felt like we needed this so…"  
"In a moment," he nods. I look over at him masturbating as it hurts to even know what we're going through, especially if you summarize everything. All in all though, if anyone looks at us now, you could be for certain the sex was pretty graphic. Low and slow, I crawl on top of him, groaning as he injects into me, I trace his pectoral muscles for the first time causing him to shiver with delight. Bare, we fall onto the floor, causing every wisp of air knocked out of us as we hit the ground. Realizing this, we both laugh and pull the blanket down with us.  
"It's too hot for this," I whine as Ike and I help each other stand.  
"Well, would you like a semi cold bath? Join me maybe, we'll have a ball." He smiles cheekily.  
"Sure, I laugh as he lets me lead the way. Him leading us, he fills the tub with cold, refreshing water as I secretly add bubbles.  
"Really Hype? A bubble bath?" he jokes.  
"What? Is that to feminine for you Mr. O'Malley?" I ask as I stand on my nose to kiss is smirking jaw. Climbing in first, I sit in his lap, facing him as I wash his chest and arms. Tracing a line before I begin, he exerts force on me as I let out a slight grunt, and continue the task.  
"I love you Hype," he smiles as I touch where we connect by accident.  
"I love you Ike," I reply as he scoops up a handful of bubbles and throws them at me. I set the soap on the edge of the tub and throw soap back at him as I rub it all in him. "You need to trim your chest," I laugh as he just shrugs and reaches for the razor.  
"Fine then, but you have to shave your legs." He retorts as I smile, reaching for my own. Stepping out and draining the tub, I beat him to his shaving cream as he turns on the shower head and squirt it at him as he turns around. He smirks, putting out razors out of reach and accesses my can.  
"Be ready to smell like fluff," I laugh as I quirt him like it's silly string. Squirting it at me, I doge the foam as we make a mess of the bathroom, the sink and the mirrors covered in foam. Running out of cream, we both know we're dead as the water is still running, beckoning of us to hurry up. Doing so, I scrape my vanilla scented foam off the walls and shave as Ike brings my razor down for me. Smirking at me, he puts the foam on his chest, working it in and glides the razor over his skin. Jumping in the shower to rinse off, we do our hair as shaving cream does not play nice, he lathers my hair with his fingers as I kiss his smirking jaw. Feeling my cheeks redden, I laugh as he turns us around to where my back is against the wall, he pins me and kisses my collarbone, turning me on as he slowly injects.  
"Long and slow," he laughs, "long and slow."

Hype's POV  
"I ruin everybody's life. Maybe if I die, everybody would be happier. I hate myself. I hate my life. I'm so useless. Worthless. Idiotic. Stupid. Lame. I'm such a screw-up. So why do you love me so much? I'm just a waste of your time. So why even bother?"  
Ike awakes me quickly as I instantly sit up as he hugs me for what seems to be no legit reason at all, and then I realize what's happening. I'm crying like hell.  
"Hype, you're not ok are you?" Ike asks soothingly as I wipe my eyes. Crying constantly, I don't think I can even tell him what I did dream.  
"No Ike, I just…I need you so please don't even think about leaving me or I'd commit suicide," I gasp as Ike hugs me as tight as he can.  
"No, no, no, no, no, Hype I'd never leave you by chance I swear ok. You are mine and I am yours." He states soothingly. "Hype, there is no way in hell I'm going to leave you by choice; you are my partner in crime in this world and I need you as much as you need me, you brighten my life more than the sun ever could and I never want you to hate yourself."  
"Ike, I really want to believe you right now but I just…" I cry covering my face as he leans over and wipes my tears away and kisses me, making me forget why the hell I even say these horrifying things.  
"Shhh Hype, it will be ok in the end. After all there is a rainbow after every storm." He says smoothly.  
"Ike, quit lying to me ok?" I scold him without meaning too, "I'm sorry really, it's just that…compliments make me feel like I'm being lied too and I don't need that, not now."  
"Hype, to me it's not a lie, it's just an outlook." He says.  
"Not every person in this world is optimistic," I say slowly. "Can we just go back to sleep?"  
"Not with a dream like that Hype."  
"But baby."  
"Fine, just wake me when you need to talk. I'll always be here for you."  
"For sure?"  
"For sure."  
And with that, he strokes my hair as I turn and face him, kissing his neck collarbone.  
"I love you Mr. O'Malley," I smile roughing up his hair. He smiles at me and does the same as I caress his arms and legs under the covers.

Taking one of the last looks of the world, I notice Ike isn't looking as I pour a handful of pills in my mouth. He notices this as I slump to the floor and immediately gives me CPR. Wanting me to spit the pills out, I refuse and eventually he makes me regurgitate them into the sink, turns around sharply and looks at me.  
"Hype, were you trying to die?" he scorns as I shame myself. "Hype, don't think I didn't see you try to take all of those," he continues. "Look at me." He shakes me a little, "Look at me Hype; you're not in trouble, just look at me."  
"I'm sorry Ike, but there are just some things you have to put an end too," I respond, feeling tears line my eyes.  
"But Hype, there are so many good things yet to happen," he smiles.  
"But Ike, what if they don't?" I ask.  
"Promise me you'll stay strong until tomorrow at least?" he asks a sparkle in his eyes as I watch the pure green slightly turn hazel.  
"Sure Ike, I promise," I reply, kissing him on the cheek and leading him to the bedroom.  
"Hey Ike, promise me we'll be ok," I whisper as we get ready for bed. Stripping down to my bare skin, I crawl up on him and lay my head in the crook of his neck.  
"I promise Hype, but you really scare me with all of your suicidal thoughts and actions. I really need you," he pleads. "Please stay with me."  
"I love you Ike," I mumble half asleep.  
"I want you forever and always Hype." He whispers.


End file.
